Superman finally gave up the ghost and closed up shop. I have to admit, it was cool while it lasted. But don't feel too bad for him. He's been offered an honest-to-god, real teaching job. You can see his eyes light up when he talks about it. I'm just happy that his life is working out for him because he's had some hard years.
I've had some hard times myself and some of those days I felt like someone kicked me in the crotch. The thought that pulled me through is that somebody somewhere is living a harder life than me. My grandfather used to say "in 100 years it won't matter". I say that in 5 years or maybe even a year it won't matter -- depending on what it is. There is so much wisdom out there for every situation. You know why? Because someone has lived through whatever it is you're going through.
I bought a house a few years back and was making myself ill worrying about all the money. I'm working at a job making decent money but I come home and face the mortgage, insurance, taxes, etc. My mother basically told me to calm down and reminded me that people sell their houses all the time because they can't afford them. "Would it be such a crime" she asked "if you had to move back to an apartment?". I shrugged my shoulders, I had to admit it wouldn't be the end of the world.
The problem is that you get used to a lifestyle. I have virtually worn myself into a groove between work and home and if I fell out of this system, I think it would be a bit of a shock. Don't get me wrong: I'd get used to something new and maybe something new is what I need. It has more to do with the security of the situation than anything else. We all want to feel that sense of security. I don't know how aspiring actors do it. You always hear stories of them not have a job for years -- years?!? -- living in a car, hand-to-mouth. I don't know that I want a job like that.
Of course, then you get into the 'confidence' issue. I don't know that I believe in myself enough to convince myself that living in a car and waiting tables will ultimately get me to my destination. Even things at work that I've done for years seem to throw me when they break down. I get lucky sometimes dealing with some of the situations. Sometimes they resolve themselves without my help at all... or I'll do something 'accidentally' and it fixes the issue.
When it comes to women, the answer is easy: I know myself very well, I just can't sell myself. Superman (and others) say that I'm too picky -- that I'm looking for the perfect woman. I've met a lot of imperfect women that I've tried to sell myself to and they almost laugh me off thinking that I'm not serious. Maybe it was their way of dealing with my come-ons... "if I laugh it off, maybe he'll go away". The real answer is that I have to get to know a woman before I get interested in her. I may be attracted to her physically but it will not go any further if she's a complete psycho or a ditz. I have to know a good deal about her before getting in a relationship.
I was very good friends with a woman at work several years ago. I was persistent. I almost pleaded and begged. I felt that if we were such good friends how could a relationship NOT work. So, we tried it -- and it didn't work. She is an incredible woman and I learned a lot from her about relationships, cooking and life in general. I think she had no use for me whatsoever... except maybe the sex. To her credit, she never told me that she loved me. Whenever anyone asks me about her and our relationship, I tell them: "She was good to me and good for me".
(wow, this melancholy music I'm listening to is having a profound influence on the writing of this entry)
I must go now but I leave you with this (I took god out for a reason): "Whenever a door closes, a window opens..."
I've had some hard times myself and some of those days I felt like someone kicked me in the crotch. The thought that pulled me through is that somebody somewhere is living a harder life than me. My grandfather used to say "in 100 years it won't matter". I say that in 5 years or maybe even a year it won't matter -- depending on what it is. There is so much wisdom out there for every situation. You know why? Because someone has lived through whatever it is you're going through.
I bought a house a few years back and was making myself ill worrying about all the money. I'm working at a job making decent money but I come home and face the mortgage, insurance, taxes, etc. My mother basically told me to calm down and reminded me that people sell their houses all the time because they can't afford them. "Would it be such a crime" she asked "if you had to move back to an apartment?". I shrugged my shoulders, I had to admit it wouldn't be the end of the world.
The problem is that you get used to a lifestyle. I have virtually worn myself into a groove between work and home and if I fell out of this system, I think it would be a bit of a shock. Don't get me wrong: I'd get used to something new and maybe something new is what I need. It has more to do with the security of the situation than anything else. We all want to feel that sense of security. I don't know how aspiring actors do it. You always hear stories of them not have a job for years -- years?!? -- living in a car, hand-to-mouth. I don't know that I want a job like that.
Of course, then you get into the 'confidence' issue. I don't know that I believe in myself enough to convince myself that living in a car and waiting tables will ultimately get me to my destination. Even things at work that I've done for years seem to throw me when they break down. I get lucky sometimes dealing with some of the situations. Sometimes they resolve themselves without my help at all... or I'll do something 'accidentally' and it fixes the issue.
When it comes to women, the answer is easy: I know myself very well, I just can't sell myself. Superman (and others) say that I'm too picky -- that I'm looking for the perfect woman. I've met a lot of imperfect women that I've tried to sell myself to and they almost laugh me off thinking that I'm not serious. Maybe it was their way of dealing with my come-ons... "if I laugh it off, maybe he'll go away". The real answer is that I have to get to know a woman before I get interested in her. I may be attracted to her physically but it will not go any further if she's a complete psycho or a ditz. I have to know a good deal about her before getting in a relationship.
I was very good friends with a woman at work several years ago. I was persistent. I almost pleaded and begged. I felt that if we were such good friends how could a relationship NOT work. So, we tried it -- and it didn't work. She is an incredible woman and I learned a lot from her about relationships, cooking and life in general. I think she had no use for me whatsoever... except maybe the sex. To her credit, she never told me that she loved me. Whenever anyone asks me about her and our relationship, I tell them: "She was good to me and good for me".
(wow, this melancholy music I'm listening to is having a profound influence on the writing of this entry)
I must go now but I leave you with this (I took god out for a reason): "Whenever a door closes, a window opens..."