You know, I’ve learned a lot about myself recently. Things I didn’t want to believe. Things you tell yourself as you’re drifting off to sleep so you’ll forget them by the morning. There are things we whisper in the shower that we could never say aloud.
I was at a wine festival this weekend. My sister works for the company who was sponsoring it so we spent a lot of time in this roped-off area with a very select crowd. There were some women there. Of course by now you realize that I have women issues.
There are also some party crashers there. One of the guys my sister works with said “I’m waiting for my friends to show up, can you let them in when they get here”. He said this to the lady that was organizing the whole thing… not to me.
Anyhow, a while later these three guys were at the corner of the roped-off area with a ‘longing’ look in their eyes (turns out later we learned they were watching the big screen TV behind us). The organizer lady walked up and asked if they were the friends we had been waiting for. Without completely agreeing, they didn’t deny it either and they were led into the special little area to drink wine, eat food, and hit on the pretty ladies (that were previously only mine).
And that’s what they proceeded to do – make jokes, flirt, and act like complete fools in front of the women. Picture three ‘frat’ boys replete with wine being tossed on shirts and crotches.
Their little charade to get in the door was found out but they still stayed. They ate the friggin’ cocktail peanuts and drank the damn wine.
I don’t know whom I’m madder at – yes, yes I do know who I’m mad at. I’m angriest with myself. I’ve been fooled for so many years into thinking I was doing the right thing – following my father’s example and being a ‘good guy’ when the fact is: you’ve got to be a little bit of a jerk. I blame myself, that is, if there is blame to be handed out.
I’m tired of deprecating all over myself but there’s a certain security to it – no one gets hurt. Well, no one but me, that is…
Once again it’s me hauling ass in this big wheel that’s going around. I’m sucking on the water bottle while life continues on around me. What are these big brown pellets?!?
So, at one point I’m thinking: “These guys are going to get bored and go off somewhere else”. And they do, for a while. Turns out they just run off and get cigars. Pretty soon they’re back and even worse than before.
Doesn’t matter, I still had a good time despite them. Have I given the correct impression that they weren’t even supposed to be there?
I heard it once said by someone that the definition of ‘stupidity’ is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. Don’t you understand that I’m TRYING to change? I am NOT the same person I was a year ago. I do NOT cling to the security I once had. I do NOT have all the answers. I just don’t…
What gets me is that I know I have the potential. Call it lazy or uninspired… call it what you will. My needs are simple and my purpose clear. This is not a call to arms, it’s a call to action – ANY action would suffice.
As the day progressed at the wine festival, I consumed less and less wine but more and more soda. I just want everyone to know what a responsible man I am by not driving drunk on the way home. I want to know that there’s some woman out there who would appreciate this but I’m beginning to believe there isn’t.
Don’t try to talk me out of it by saying “oh, sure there is. There’s someone out there for you”. Well, it’s hard to catch a fish in the ocean when you don’t have your line in the water. I am usually found either at work, driving to work, at home or driving home. You’ve got to meet them half way, I suppose.
I do not have all the answers. I just don’t…
I was at a wine festival this weekend. My sister works for the company who was sponsoring it so we spent a lot of time in this roped-off area with a very select crowd. There were some women there. Of course by now you realize that I have women issues.
There are also some party crashers there. One of the guys my sister works with said “I’m waiting for my friends to show up, can you let them in when they get here”. He said this to the lady that was organizing the whole thing… not to me.
Anyhow, a while later these three guys were at the corner of the roped-off area with a ‘longing’ look in their eyes (turns out later we learned they were watching the big screen TV behind us). The organizer lady walked up and asked if they were the friends we had been waiting for. Without completely agreeing, they didn’t deny it either and they were led into the special little area to drink wine, eat food, and hit on the pretty ladies (that were previously only mine).
And that’s what they proceeded to do – make jokes, flirt, and act like complete fools in front of the women. Picture three ‘frat’ boys replete with wine being tossed on shirts and crotches.
Their little charade to get in the door was found out but they still stayed. They ate the friggin’ cocktail peanuts and drank the damn wine.
I don’t know whom I’m madder at – yes, yes I do know who I’m mad at. I’m angriest with myself. I’ve been fooled for so many years into thinking I was doing the right thing – following my father’s example and being a ‘good guy’ when the fact is: you’ve got to be a little bit of a jerk. I blame myself, that is, if there is blame to be handed out.
I’m tired of deprecating all over myself but there’s a certain security to it – no one gets hurt. Well, no one but me, that is…
Once again it’s me hauling ass in this big wheel that’s going around. I’m sucking on the water bottle while life continues on around me. What are these big brown pellets?!?
So, at one point I’m thinking: “These guys are going to get bored and go off somewhere else”. And they do, for a while. Turns out they just run off and get cigars. Pretty soon they’re back and even worse than before.
Doesn’t matter, I still had a good time despite them. Have I given the correct impression that they weren’t even supposed to be there?
I heard it once said by someone that the definition of ‘stupidity’ is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. Don’t you understand that I’m TRYING to change? I am NOT the same person I was a year ago. I do NOT cling to the security I once had. I do NOT have all the answers. I just don’t…
What gets me is that I know I have the potential. Call it lazy or uninspired… call it what you will. My needs are simple and my purpose clear. This is not a call to arms, it’s a call to action – ANY action would suffice.
As the day progressed at the wine festival, I consumed less and less wine but more and more soda. I just want everyone to know what a responsible man I am by not driving drunk on the way home. I want to know that there’s some woman out there who would appreciate this but I’m beginning to believe there isn’t.
Don’t try to talk me out of it by saying “oh, sure there is. There’s someone out there for you”. Well, it’s hard to catch a fish in the ocean when you don’t have your line in the water. I am usually found either at work, driving to work, at home or driving home. You’ve got to meet them half way, I suppose.
I do not have all the answers. I just don’t…