Looking back over this long weekend, I have found that there are some women in my life who have disappointed me recently:
- My mother: Well, it always starts at the top, doesn't it? My mother almost single-handedly soured Thanksgiving for me this year. She has always been the type of mother who says 'out of the kitchen while I'm cooking!'... so for years we've left her alone while she prepares the meal. Mind you, we bring a lot of the materials and she just heats them up or preps them. Anyhow, this year after everything was ready to go and she was about to announce this, she comes out with: "I'm not doing this anymore. This is my last year of it. I'm almost 70 years old and I'm tired of doing it". There is a dramatic pause while this sinks in before we start pointing the finger at my oldest brother and his wife taking over the duties. I'm not sure what anyone else made of it but I felt a little blindsided.
A little bit later, after the football was winding down and we'd all finished our dinner she proceeds to tell us that we don't help her in the kitchen. "You all are NO help", she says. We try to tell her that for years she's told us to stay out of the kitchen. I told her "all you had to do was ask and I would have done whatever you needed". She tells me "I shouldn't have to ask". Well, I let it go, but my sister (the one who was there) is not the kind of person to let things like this go and she and my mother got into a bit of a tiff before my sister left. My brother and I were sitting on the couch watching the whole thing take place and, again, felt blindsided by it. I looked at him and said "where this come from?". He was as confused as I was.
Once my sister left (in a major huff) I tried to point out to my mother that she had actually offered to help. "Well, I guess I didn't hear her say that", she replies. My brother and I (the cooler heads of the family) tried to make her see that we had been accustomed to doing things one way and that she was not the kind of woman to ever be shy about what she wanted us to do.
Little bit mystified... left a bitter taste.
- Sisters: I have two sisters, both older than me. There is a book out there (don't remember what it's called) all about the gender differences that exist when one is born into a family and in which place they are born (oldest son, youngest daughter, middle child, etc.)
I saw my oldest sister the other night for the first time in -- I don't know how long. It was almost surreal sitting there watching her talk. It was almost like watching someone I didn't know. She works a lot of hours at her job and on weekends so we miss her at some of our other family functions.
I don't have a cute little wrap-up of how my sisters have disappointed me but suffice it to say that Christmas plans are going to be a little weird as well.
- DubDub: I feel really stupid. I don't know how she does it. DubDub called on Friday and says she wants to do something after work on Saturday. She gets off around 4:00 so we'll plan something for then. I text message her around 3:45 -- 'we still on for today?'. No response. I call her cell phone -- voicemail. I call her home phone -- answering machine. I send up a smoke signal -- no reply. I leave messages every where I can -- nothing. That's the thing that kills me about her... there's no remorse. I'm sure she'll call sometime this week and act as if nothing has happened. I'm very tempted to just say "you know what -- don't call anymore. If you feel like calling -- just don't!" Like I say, she has some sort of power over me that I can't control. It's easy to see how she disappoints me.
- L-girl: She's so hard to read sometimes and other times it's not an issue. If I come on too strong, she backs off. If I loosen up, then she comes calling. So I've been pretty loose after learning that little tid-bit. "Why don't you call anymore?", she asks me in that sad voice. Honestly, I've been very busy at work so I haven't had as much disposable time.
- My boss: I don't know that I've ever shared this little tid-bit, but my direct supervisor is a woman. Like other women, she has to be 'handled'. I try and get a gauge in the morning as to mood but something in the day can just set her off. It's not just her, mind you, the same thing applies to me. She just tends to set me up by not giving information out. For instance, I can't tell you how many times someone has come up to me and said "Did D-boss tell you about (whatever it is she was supposed to tell me)?"
I shrug my shoulders and say "No... what's the problem?"
I think I do a pretty good job of giving her information about what's going on so that she can see the potholes in the road, but I feel like I don't get the same in return. Obviously, some days are better than others but it disappoints me because I don't feel like I get the same respect I give.
There are probably other women in my life that disappoint me, but these are the 'biggees'. Hope you weren't disappointed.
- My mother: Well, it always starts at the top, doesn't it? My mother almost single-handedly soured Thanksgiving for me this year. She has always been the type of mother who says 'out of the kitchen while I'm cooking!'... so for years we've left her alone while she prepares the meal. Mind you, we bring a lot of the materials and she just heats them up or preps them. Anyhow, this year after everything was ready to go and she was about to announce this, she comes out with: "I'm not doing this anymore. This is my last year of it. I'm almost 70 years old and I'm tired of doing it". There is a dramatic pause while this sinks in before we start pointing the finger at my oldest brother and his wife taking over the duties. I'm not sure what anyone else made of it but I felt a little blindsided.
A little bit later, after the football was winding down and we'd all finished our dinner she proceeds to tell us that we don't help her in the kitchen. "You all are NO help", she says. We try to tell her that for years she's told us to stay out of the kitchen. I told her "all you had to do was ask and I would have done whatever you needed". She tells me "I shouldn't have to ask". Well, I let it go, but my sister (the one who was there) is not the kind of person to let things like this go and she and my mother got into a bit of a tiff before my sister left. My brother and I were sitting on the couch watching the whole thing take place and, again, felt blindsided by it. I looked at him and said "where this come from?". He was as confused as I was.
Once my sister left (in a major huff) I tried to point out to my mother that she had actually offered to help. "Well, I guess I didn't hear her say that", she replies. My brother and I (the cooler heads of the family) tried to make her see that we had been accustomed to doing things one way and that she was not the kind of woman to ever be shy about what she wanted us to do.
Little bit mystified... left a bitter taste.
- Sisters: I have two sisters, both older than me. There is a book out there (don't remember what it's called) all about the gender differences that exist when one is born into a family and in which place they are born (oldest son, youngest daughter, middle child, etc.)
I saw my oldest sister the other night for the first time in -- I don't know how long. It was almost surreal sitting there watching her talk. It was almost like watching someone I didn't know. She works a lot of hours at her job and on weekends so we miss her at some of our other family functions.
I don't have a cute little wrap-up of how my sisters have disappointed me but suffice it to say that Christmas plans are going to be a little weird as well.
- DubDub: I feel really stupid. I don't know how she does it. DubDub called on Friday and says she wants to do something after work on Saturday. She gets off around 4:00 so we'll plan something for then. I text message her around 3:45 -- 'we still on for today?'. No response. I call her cell phone -- voicemail. I call her home phone -- answering machine. I send up a smoke signal -- no reply. I leave messages every where I can -- nothing. That's the thing that kills me about her... there's no remorse. I'm sure she'll call sometime this week and act as if nothing has happened. I'm very tempted to just say "you know what -- don't call anymore. If you feel like calling -- just don't!" Like I say, she has some sort of power over me that I can't control. It's easy to see how she disappoints me.
- L-girl: She's so hard to read sometimes and other times it's not an issue. If I come on too strong, she backs off. If I loosen up, then she comes calling. So I've been pretty loose after learning that little tid-bit. "Why don't you call anymore?", she asks me in that sad voice. Honestly, I've been very busy at work so I haven't had as much disposable time.
- My boss: I don't know that I've ever shared this little tid-bit, but my direct supervisor is a woman. Like other women, she has to be 'handled'. I try and get a gauge in the morning as to mood but something in the day can just set her off. It's not just her, mind you, the same thing applies to me. She just tends to set me up by not giving information out. For instance, I can't tell you how many times someone has come up to me and said "Did D-boss tell you about (whatever it is she was supposed to tell me)?"
I shrug my shoulders and say "No... what's the problem?"
I think I do a pretty good job of giving her information about what's going on so that she can see the potholes in the road, but I feel like I don't get the same in return. Obviously, some days are better than others but it disappoints me because I don't feel like I get the same respect I give.
There are probably other women in my life that disappoint me, but these are the 'biggees'. Hope you weren't disappointed.