Whenever I go hunting, for some reason I disarm myself. That is to say, I empty my weapon of its ammunition. I always carry my weapon when hunting. I suppose that it’s to give myself the appearance of actually hunting. I definitely feel more like a man when I'm hunting -- empty weapon or not.
I don’t know why I do this.
It seems to me that carrying a weapon around without any bullets is a deception. It is hearing without listening. It is talking without speaking. It is a lie.
I’ve thought long and hard about this but cannot come up with an answer as to why I do this. When I happen upon a target when I’m hunting they fall into three categories: Too easy to shoot, just right, mostly unattainable.
Too easy: this is compromised of things like bunnies and birds. They are abundant and easy prey. The bunnies are cute but fat and some of the birds are downright ugly. Why not shoot them? Why not get a kill under my belt? These are the questions I wrestle with.
Just right: This is usually the smallest population of prey. They fall into varying categories of species but almost feel more unattainable than the ‘unattainable’ group. Whenever I see a target, they seem to disappear quickly into the forest. They tend to travel in small to medium groups so finding one in a position to be shot at outside of the group is extremely difficult. Even when I do find one in a ‘solo’ position, they have a heightened sense of fear and get away quickly before I can get a shot off.
Unattainable: This group is prevalent in the forest. I see this kind of target a lot. The problem is that there are many hunters around trying to get a shot at the unattainable. It’s difficult to take a shot at a rare bird or a skittish deer when there’s so much noise around – restless hunters underfoot. They have a keen sense of their own awareness and seem to get away quickly despite being surrounded.
Okay, so I’ve explained what targets I’m after but I still can’t explain why I head out without the ability to shoot the prey. Part of it has to do with shooting a familiar target. For instance, I shot a couple deer once (on different occasions) and it seemed a lot easier. On one trip, I was feeling loose and confident and this deer walked into my line of sight. There was a clearing just in front of me and this deer just walked right in. It was a little frightened at first but I just waited patiently and it eventually walked toward my direction and I took my shot.
The other one I saw while I was on a hunting trip set up by a company that specializes in setting up hunting trips. I swear it was so easy to shoot this deer it was almost like it wanted to be shot. Maybe I lost a little respect for the deer population in general thinking that all deer would want to be shot this easily.
So what tends to happen is that I end up shooting skeet on the firing range. It’s easier to ‘pull’ and then empty my weapon. No one gets hurt – especially me. I’d like to think that I’m a pretty good shooter but not a remarkable hunter. There are different skills involved in each. I’d like to think the prey would come to me but this is such a silly notion it’s not even worth pondering.
In the past year, or so, I’ve thought about not going hunting anymore. I mean, I’m out there with an empty weapon anyway – what’s the different? The problem with this plan is that I really like shooting prey. I could go into all the reasons why but I don’t want to be graphic.
So I continue to go hunting with an empty weapon. Why not put bullets in, you say? There’s a different kind of fear walking around with a loaded weapon. I’m more relaxed with the weapon is unloaded. I can see more clearly, I think more clearly and my hunter’s instincts are out.
With a loaded weapon, I feel clumsier, a lot more anxious and I don’t see the targets as easily. When you’re comfortable in the hunter’s shack, how do you become comfortable out in the forest? The answer is: you spend more time in the forest. I feel like I have spent more time in the forest over the past few years, trying to get comfortable even though I’m carrying an empty weapon.
I am waiting for the forest to accept me.
eu·phe·mism [YOO-fuh-miz-uh m] –noun
1. the substitution of a mild, indirect, or vague expression for one thought to be offensive, harsh, or blunt.
2. the expression so substituted
I don’t know why I do this.
It seems to me that carrying a weapon around without any bullets is a deception. It is hearing without listening. It is talking without speaking. It is a lie.
I’ve thought long and hard about this but cannot come up with an answer as to why I do this. When I happen upon a target when I’m hunting they fall into three categories: Too easy to shoot, just right, mostly unattainable.
Too easy: this is compromised of things like bunnies and birds. They are abundant and easy prey. The bunnies are cute but fat and some of the birds are downright ugly. Why not shoot them? Why not get a kill under my belt? These are the questions I wrestle with.
Just right: This is usually the smallest population of prey. They fall into varying categories of species but almost feel more unattainable than the ‘unattainable’ group. Whenever I see a target, they seem to disappear quickly into the forest. They tend to travel in small to medium groups so finding one in a position to be shot at outside of the group is extremely difficult. Even when I do find one in a ‘solo’ position, they have a heightened sense of fear and get away quickly before I can get a shot off.
Unattainable: This group is prevalent in the forest. I see this kind of target a lot. The problem is that there are many hunters around trying to get a shot at the unattainable. It’s difficult to take a shot at a rare bird or a skittish deer when there’s so much noise around – restless hunters underfoot. They have a keen sense of their own awareness and seem to get away quickly despite being surrounded.
Okay, so I’ve explained what targets I’m after but I still can’t explain why I head out without the ability to shoot the prey. Part of it has to do with shooting a familiar target. For instance, I shot a couple deer once (on different occasions) and it seemed a lot easier. On one trip, I was feeling loose and confident and this deer walked into my line of sight. There was a clearing just in front of me and this deer just walked right in. It was a little frightened at first but I just waited patiently and it eventually walked toward my direction and I took my shot.
The other one I saw while I was on a hunting trip set up by a company that specializes in setting up hunting trips. I swear it was so easy to shoot this deer it was almost like it wanted to be shot. Maybe I lost a little respect for the deer population in general thinking that all deer would want to be shot this easily.
So what tends to happen is that I end up shooting skeet on the firing range. It’s easier to ‘pull’ and then empty my weapon. No one gets hurt – especially me. I’d like to think that I’m a pretty good shooter but not a remarkable hunter. There are different skills involved in each. I’d like to think the prey would come to me but this is such a silly notion it’s not even worth pondering.
In the past year, or so, I’ve thought about not going hunting anymore. I mean, I’m out there with an empty weapon anyway – what’s the different? The problem with this plan is that I really like shooting prey. I could go into all the reasons why but I don’t want to be graphic.
So I continue to go hunting with an empty weapon. Why not put bullets in, you say? There’s a different kind of fear walking around with a loaded weapon. I’m more relaxed with the weapon is unloaded. I can see more clearly, I think more clearly and my hunter’s instincts are out.
With a loaded weapon, I feel clumsier, a lot more anxious and I don’t see the targets as easily. When you’re comfortable in the hunter’s shack, how do you become comfortable out in the forest? The answer is: you spend more time in the forest. I feel like I have spent more time in the forest over the past few years, trying to get comfortable even though I’m carrying an empty weapon.
I am waiting for the forest to accept me.
eu·phe·mism [YOO-fuh-miz-uh m] –noun
1. the substitution of a mild, indirect, or vague expression for one thought to be offensive, harsh, or blunt.
2. the expression so substituted