Bumper Sticker Mentality

I’ve always been amazed at the wisdom found on your ordinary bumper sticker. It never ceases to amaze me how someone can take a broad concept and boil it down to its most basic level and be easily digested by anyone.

Below are some that I stumbled upon recently which I thought I’d share:

THE DEFINITION OF STUPIDITY

* If you always do what you always did, you'll always get what you always got

PRACTICALITY

* Whenever I feel blue I start breathing again

THE FUTURE

* I'm leaving my body to science fiction

ECONOMICS

* The buck doesn't even slow down here

REALITY

* Ask me about my explosively angry reaction to stupid questions

GOOD ADVICE

* Follow your dreams (except that one where you're at school in your underwear)

HOW TO LIVE

* Live so that your friends can defend you but never have to

SUCCESS VS FAILURE

* Many of life's failures are people who didn't realize how close they were to success when they gave up -- Thomas Edison

CONVERSATION

* Talk only if you can improve the silence

EVERYDAY AMBIGUITY

* I'd like to verb your noun

SEXUALITY

* I lost my virginity but I still have the box it came in

* I'm just 2 people away from a threesome

THE BEST ADVICE OF ALL

* Simplify

Top 10 Cartoon Duo's

This time out the subject is Top 10 Cartoon Duo’s. I was only going to make this a Top 5 list but I had so many entries to work with, I added the last 5. Here’s the list is no particular order – wait, that’s not right… 10. Ren & Stimpy: Call this entry the ‘Odd Couple’ of the group. A cat and a dog (I think) living together and making their way despite their obvious instincts to be sworn enemies. I have to admit that this cartoon was hard to watch sometimes because of the ‘gross’ nature of both characters – pooping and boogers a big part of the vernacular. “Oh, Re-e-e-n?”, “Yes, Stimpy!” 9. Inspector Gadget & Penny: An uncle and his niece go around solving crimes against Dr. Claw. It was actually Gadget and his dog, Brain, that tried to solve the crimes and Penny that actually solved them. She would tell Brain the solution and that crazy dog would expend a great deal of energy trying to make the Inspector understand the solution. Finally, when Inspector Gadget would ‘stumble...

The ‘Ol One-Two Punch

In an effort to follow-up on my job hunt, I must tell you that I was not offered a job from either company for which I interviewed. The first company I visited actually had me come back again. I saw this as a good sign. It is generally accepted to inquire about the status of the position a week after interviewing, which I was prepared to do. They couldn’t wait until Thursday and sent me a ‘dear john’ letter on Wednesday. The second company I was pretty sure wasn’t going to make me an offer. When I walked out of the office (after the interview) I just felt like they were looking for someone I’m not. Officially, the owner said he would have a decision made before Friday but, like I said, I’m not holding my breath. He said he had 4 or 5 candidates and – unless all of them decline – I’m not expecting to hear from him. Finding a job is tough. I spend a couple of hours a day looking through all the online postings, waiting to find one for which I’m qualified. It’s almost like begging, which ...

Lunch with a side of awkward

Last week I was sitting in my office wondering what to eat for lunch since I didn’t bring anything to eat. I happened to be in our break room and saw a collection of restaurant menus and began thumbing through them for suggestions. I came across a place that I had heard of but had never been to, so I decided to go there – mostly because of how close it was to the office. I walked in and looked around. The place was empty. There was a table of 4 ladies in the corner who looked like your basic bridge-playing women. Sitting in the booth next to them was another couple that looked like they were wrapping things up in order to leave. Finally a server appeared and seated me at a table across the aisle from the foursome. By then, the other couple had left. As I looked around, I noticed a lot of the place was made of or covered in wood. It’s the kind of a place you might find overlooking a body of water, but all that was outside this place was a parking lot. The server was tall, thin, dark hai...

Down On Ferry Farm

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