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Silence

Have you ever sat in the silence of your house? I must admit I don't do it a lot. The only time silence comes over my house is when I'm not here.

There was a quote I heard some years ago that went something like this: If you're not making noise, how do you know you're alive? I'm paraphrasing, of course but the basic sentiment is there.

Let's say there was silence between the sound. I was listening to some music, searching through a long list of songs, and between the songs was a silence. I was listening to my house.

It's been rather windy around here lately and today is no different. I hear the wind. I heard the birds chirping and singing. I hear the house settling (which is rather unsettling). I hear the distant scream of a siren... a car drive by.

Then a song to repeat the cycle. I hear it in my head. You know that's what reading is, right? It's talking in your head. It's reading the words and saying them aloud inside your head.

Silence is somehow different. It's not the absence of sound, to me, it's the filling in of another sounds that is much quieter. I don't think living humans can fully experience silence. Even in the most sound-deadening studio there will always be your heartbeat -- it will always pulse through your ears. Don't talk to me about the deaf.

I have a very unique relationship with music. It is my understanding that I experience music in a way that differs from anyone I've ever met. I'm not talking about bands that are good or the way a classical song sounds. I'm talking about the way music looks to me. Each sound has a different visual quality. I wish that each note did, I'd probably have a better musical ear.

No, what I'm talking about is what I experience when music plays. Each song looks different to me. I wish I had the artistic ability to paint or draw what I see in my mind. I see it the way you might see a memory.

For instance, without looking at a picture, try and get an image of a friend, family member or celebrity in your head. You see that? That's how I see music. I wish I could explain better.

I must admit I feel a little stupid saying this about music but it's all true. Each sounds has a color and a texture associated with it. Songs that sound good to my ear have good colors that mix well together.

Synesthesia

It has a name (isn't the Internet great?). I just put in 'color' and 'sound' into a search engine and this whole article on Wikipedia came up. It talked about kinds and forms that it takes and touched on my version.

Now that it's named, I don't like it. I liked it a whole lot better when it was this abstract concept that I was trying to get people to understand and they weren't getting it. The fact that it's real makes me feel like less of a nutjob but also a little less unique.

Blurgh, I hate when that happens. I’ll have to go and listen to the silence… at least THAT has no color.

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