Down On Ferry Farm

I had just walked in the door, coming home from work, when there was a knock on the door. ‘The doorbell works’ I thought to myself. I had put down what was in my arms but hadn’t emptied my pockets of keys, cell phone, etc. I open the door and there’s a man standing there looking rather ominous. He’s wearing a black suit, white shirt and sunglasses. He looks a little like those stereotypical secret service guys you see on TV. “Can I help you?” I ask. He doesn’t say anything, he just hands me an envelope. It looks just like the thousands I’ve received recently. “What is this?” I ask. He raises his hand slightly, indicating to me that I should open the envelope. I open it slowly and read the message inside: “Your help is needed. You will see the red sign soon” As I look up from the page, the man in the suit has turned and begun walking down my driveway towards a stretch limo parked on the street. He gets in the passenger-side front seat and the vehicle drives away. I am happy that the let

It all started Friday night when I went out with some folks from work. We went to a place that would probably be considered a ‘sports’ bar. I think we had been there before in some capacity. There was one woman from the office I was happy to see did not show up – I’ll call her “Terry”. I don’t have anything specific against her personally, but every time she has been with us in the past, the woman who reports to me (“Kendra”) replays the whole night for me: “I heard that John and Joe played pool. I heard that Gina and Tom were talking pretty close. I heard you drank 3 beers” and so on. Some of the reports are prefaced with “Terry told me that…” so I know where it was coming from. No such reports from Friday. Kendra is not a gossip so she doesn’t really ask. When she has that information, though, I think she wants to see my reaction. The group broke up around 9:30 and, as I was driving home, I realized I had not used the men’s room before I left. For some reason I didn’t get this feelin

It’s sad, really. It’s silent. Quiet. I like it, except when I’m sleeping. It didn’t used to be this way. It wasn’t always like this. It’s funny, really. It’s so far away. Distant. I’ll use it if I ever get it. It wasn’t used that way. It wasn’t always like this. It’s a piece of art for all to see, to look at, to admire, to judge. You put it out there, no one else. There was a decision to be made: hold on to it so that no one could see and think that it’s perfect, or give it to the world and let it be judged as possibly being imperfect. It hurts, really. It stings. Sharp. I avoid it when I can. It wasn’t always this painful. It used to be easier. I can’t, really. It’s difficult. Impossible. I like to read it, except when I’m eating. My memory of it is fading but I can’t believe it was always this way. It’s just words on a page, on a screen, on a television, in a movie theater. It doesn’t have to be anything more than it is. It doesn’t have to prove itself. There is a decision to be mad

Aired: 9/13/2008 Host: Michael Phelps Musical Act: Lil Wayne Cold Open (“A Non-Partisan Message From Sarah Palin & Hillary Clinton”): Tina Fey returns to play Palin to Amy Poehler’s Hillary and she (Fey) is dead-on. The buzz on the Internet on Monday morning was that Palin herself showed up, until they realized it was Tina Fey. The banter between the two women was how hard it was for Palin to work her way up and become a VP candidate. Grade: B (mostly because of Tina Fey’s portrayal) Monologue: Michael Phelps is not – I repeat – not a comedian. Amy Poehler does a quick-change while the credits roll to appear as Phelps’s mother, much like she appeared during the Olympics. Basically his shtick is how many endorsement offers he’s been given recently. Stunt casting comes into play with the appearance of William Shatner who is there to talk about which endorsements to take while shilling for PriceLine.com. In a technically awkward moment, Phelps says “… and how about you Mom?” (Long

Dear Jennifer, You are an attractive young actress in the prime of your career. I know I don’t have to tell you this, you should already know. I must tell you that your personal life, which – I know – shouldn’t be part of your professional life, is looking a little desperate. I see stories of you jumping from one relationship easily to another. It was quite the heart-break when you and Brad split up. That relationship seemed to be the answer to your dreams. I’m not sure what happened and quite frankly, I don’t want to know… I don’t NEED to know. I think that’s true of any relationship: only those involved need to know the whole story. Something wasn’t right, it ended, let’s move on. And move on you did. I agree that pretty girls shouldn’t be home alone on a Saturday night but couldn’t you just hang out with friends (no pun intended) one night? Pop in a DVD and watch some sappy romantic comedy. Eat some popcorn or sip a little wine. I guess the part that bothers me the most is when they

Had another date this evening. At this point, I’d almost wish they’d just ‘spring’ them on me. I found out about this one almost a week ago and the build-up is excruciating. It’s tough having to think about a date for a week. One of the things that The Service does is call you up just to remind you that you have a date. They called my cell phone: “Hi, this is The Service calling. Just wanted to remind you that you have a date tomorrow” “Yea, that’s ri—wait, tomorrow?” “Let me put you on hold so I can check. (Pause) Yes, I checked your folder, I checked her folder and I checked our schedule. They all say tomorrow”. “Hmm, that’s funny because I had it on my calendar for tonight”. “Well… is tomorrow okay with you?” “Yea, I guess…” “Okay, tomorrow it is!” Ten minutes later. “We just got in touch with your date and she was under the impression it was tonight as well. So, is tonight okay?” I think The Service is a good and decent company but their scheduling is a little ‘iffy’. Anyhow, tonig

What a funny name for a company: Google. It sounds kind of silly but they make it work for them. I actually like Google and their products (so far) that I’ve tried. Blogger – Well, obviously since you’re reading this I’m using Blogger. It’s clean, efficient, not a lot to fuss with to make it work. I like anything that is easy to use and intuitive. I better stop or I’m going to run out of adjectives. Docs – We all know they didn’t come up with the Office Suite… that ‘other’ company made it famous. But that other company couldn’t make it work in the browser. That’s where Google came in. It isn’t super complicated but it does what it’s supposed to do. Toolbar – I have to admit I was a skeptic on this product for a LONG time. People would ask me if it was okay to install and I always said “No” because I didn’t trust it. I figured it was something that was going to be ‘in your face’ and take up a lot of memory. I’m not afraid to tell you I was wrong. I currently use it now on all my home