Skip to main content

An Open Letter to Jennifer Aniston

Dear Jennifer,

You are an attractive young actress in the prime of your career. I know I don’t have to tell you this, you should already know. I must tell you that your personal life, which – I know – shouldn’t be part of your professional life, is looking a little desperate.

I see stories of you jumping from one relationship easily to another. It was quite the heart-break when you and Brad split up. That relationship seemed to be the answer to your dreams. I’m not sure what happened and quite frankly, I don’t want to know… I don’t NEED to know. I think that’s true of any relationship: only those involved need to know the whole story. Something wasn’t right, it ended, let’s move on.

And move on you did. I agree that pretty girls shouldn’t be home alone on a Saturday night but couldn’t you just hang out with friends (no pun intended) one night? Pop in a DVD and watch some sappy romantic comedy. Eat some popcorn or sip a little wine.

I guess the part that bothers me the most is when they talk about you being pregnant or rushing to the alter with your latest beau. Just because you and Vince Vaughn moved in together didn’t mean you were eager to marry or produce a child. I hope you dealt with the stress of that situation. If not, it could always come back to bite you.

I know of what I speak in the manner of ‘desperate’. I, too, have had my share of relationship problems but, thankfully, they weren’t played out in a public forum like yours were. I can’t imagine what that does to a person.

I know that you’re a busy person, what with your movie and TV career and all. I also know that you’re probably already seeing someone new but I’ll just put this out there and be done with it:

If you’re ever in town and just want a simple relaxing dinner in an out-of-the-way place, please contact me and I’ll be happy to accommodate you. Nothing fancy, no expectations… just a simple, normal activity between two well-meaning people on a random Friday or Saturday night.

I can already see your bright, clear eyes across the table from me, the candle flickering against your skin giving it a glowing warmth, and that bright beautiful smile and your kind laugh.

Again, I have no expectations that this will come to fruition but if you’re looking for a down-to-earth date where you can relax and be yourself, I am here for you.

I await your response.

Thank You.

Popular posts from this blog

Top 10 Cartoon Duo's

This time out the subject is Top 10 Cartoon Duo’s. I was only going to make this a Top 5 list but I had so many entries to work with, I added the last 5. Here’s the list is no particular order – wait, that’s not right… 10. Ren & Stimpy: Call this entry the ‘Odd Couple’ of the group. A cat and a dog (I think) living together and making their way despite their obvious instincts to be sworn enemies. I have to admit that this cartoon was hard to watch sometimes because of the ‘gross’ nature of both characters – pooping and boogers a big part of the vernacular. “Oh, Re-e-e-n?”, “Yes, Stimpy!” 9. Inspector Gadget & Penny: An uncle and his niece go around solving crimes against Dr. Claw. It was actually Gadget and his dog, Brain, that tried to solve the crimes and Penny that actually solved them. She would tell Brain the solution and that crazy dog would expend a great deal of energy trying to make the Inspector understand the solution. Finally, when Inspector Gadget would ‘stumble...
Read more

Another Run

Well, after my last successful date, I figured we ought to try it again. In fact, at the first date I told her that it wasn’t up for debate – that we WOULD go out again. And we did. It was the Saturday following the first date. She had been out with a friend of hers on Friday night and they must have gotten a little wild with the drinks because she appeared to be “hurtin’” come date-night. I suggested a couple of places and we settled on a laid-back little place where we could just hang out and talk. Before we get to the date, I have to explain what I was doing beforehand. Superman had invited me to a corporate function of his wife’s work. It was given a renaissance theme. That was fine but the woman who was doing the announcements had a very screechy voice… AND she was amplified… AND she was yelling. We ate the obligatory hot dog and hamburger and generally made our presence known – then got the hell out of dodge. I think if it wasn’t for the screeching woman we would have stayed long...
Read more

Lunch with a side of awkward

Last week I was sitting in my office wondering what to eat for lunch since I didn’t bring anything to eat. I happened to be in our break room and saw a collection of restaurant menus and began thumbing through them for suggestions. I came across a place that I had heard of but had never been to, so I decided to go there – mostly because of how close it was to the office. I walked in and looked around. The place was empty. There was a table of 4 ladies in the corner who looked like your basic bridge-playing women. Sitting in the booth next to them was another couple that looked like they were wrapping things up in order to leave. Finally a server appeared and seated me at a table across the aisle from the foursome. By then, the other couple had left. As I looked around, I noticed a lot of the place was made of or covered in wood. It’s the kind of a place you might find overlooking a body of water, but all that was outside this place was a parking lot. The server was tall, thin, dark hai...
Read more