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Condition: Air

Sunday night I really wanted to get some sleep so I went to bed around 9:45pm. At 10:30pm my electricity cut off and I did my usual – ponder all the ways in which I use electricity. I woke up to the sound of my UPS’s chirping like two heavyweight crickets.

Luckily, the outage only lasted about half an hour and I fell right back to sleep. Monday evening I return home from work and it feels a little warm in the house. I take a quick look around just to make sure I have electricity – I do. I then go through the usual steps of checking to make sure my air conditioning is working: I check the breaker panel and I check the outside circuit.

Everything seems okay. I then go to the thermostat and it’s not even on. It’s a nice digital, touch-screen thermostat with a glowing green face… usually. This day it was a non-functioning piece of plastic. Here’s the timeline (in 24-hour time… not years):

- 1730: I make the call to the company that installed the unit originally. They’ll send someone and “he’ll be there before 8:00pm”. I’m thinking he’ll walk through my door at 7:59.

- 1800: Wow, the A/C guy shows up! I’m shocked but very appreciative.

- 1820: After doing the same checks I did, the tech climbs up into the attic where the main unit is sitting. He’s up there about 5 or 10 minutes. He comes back down and reports that he’s “too big” to work on the A/C… meaning, he can’t squeeze himself around to be able to get where he needs. He’s called another ‘smaller’ technician.

- 1840: I get the report that the New Guy is 45 minutes away. We wait.

- 1930: New guy arrives. He immediately climbs up into the attic.

- 1938: I look up at the thermostat and a few seconds later it lights up. I walk toward my back yard and find that the compressor outside is not turning. This is not a good thing.

- 1940: Thermostat is down again. The reason I get is because of a “loose wire”. Uh, what? It’s not like I’m climbing around in my attic and I “accidentally” kick a wire loose. How does this happen? This makes no sense to me.

- 1950: The tech taps on the thermostat and it jumps to life. I keep getting my hopes up every time I see it glow.

- 1957: The thermostat is on and has a “wait” message on the screen. I tell the tech that and he tells me there’s a 5 minute delay built into the system so that nothing is damaged in a power outage situation. That actually makes sense but no cold air is blowing yet. The new guy packs up his stuff and heads for his truck. A minute or two later and the thermostat is out again.

- 2001: The question finally comes up, whether I might need a new thermostat.

- 2006: The question has been answered – these guys think I need a new thermostat. I’ve spent the last 20 minutes, or so, preparing myself for that very response.

- 2013: I schedule an appointment for the very next day (since they don’t have this particular thermostat with them). I give them my cell phone number and ask that they call me when they’re ready. I tell them that they can head over any time after 1715 or so.

THE NEXT DAY: TUESDAY

- 1715: I arrive home from work (having not received a call) and find it’s still hot. There is a message on my HOME phone from some technician looking for me.

- 1720: I call the company to find out what’s going on. “Oh, the tech called to set up a schedule with you. Is tomorrow okay?” No! The woman I talk to says she’ll call around and see if any of her people have the thermostat I need.

- 1735: She calls back and says a tech is on his way to my house. Sweet!

- 1805: He arrives at my house. I give him the basic rundown of what has happened and he immediately heads for the attic.

- 1846: He comes down from the attic and starts replacing the thermostat. He is talking to himself the whole time – I don’t know, chiding himself, trying to remember how to do what he needs to do, or maybe a pep talk.

- 1900: He has replaced the thermostat. The one he has mounted on the wall is not like my original thermostat. He explains that my thermostat talks to a ‘board’ up on the attic unit. He has rewired my system so that this new thermostat goes around that ‘board’ and just controls the A/C. This is, of course, a temporary fix.

- 1905: Good news is that cool air is now blowing and I don’t have a layer of perma-sweat at all times.

- 1910: He leaves. The permanent fix will come tomorrow (or later) but I have A/C.

The word “thermostat” appears 16 times (not including this one).

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