Down On Ferry Farm

I woke up this morning, much like every other Saturday morning, not knowing what the day would bring. Little did I know what it held in store for me. I ate some breakfast, watched some T.V., and tried to shake off sleep (I hate taking naps). Took a shower and went shopping for a new desk chair for work. Purchased said chair and drove to the office. My co-workers were there decorating for Halloween so I ended up helping them. We're doing a "sports" theme this year -- I'm dressing as a basketball player. After they all left, I put together my new desk chair. I also had to replace a monitor on one of the other computers in the office. Next, I had to find a 'warm up' suit ... the kind that you see basketball players wear just before the game starts. Couldn't find one in the "Laker's" colors so I bought a generic blue one. It fits me just fine. When I got home, I had some mail and a small package. I knew what it was immediately. I don't know i

On Monday I put my car in the shop. I needed some new tires, a tune-up and the like. I inquired about a 'loaner' car which they operate with a well-known rental car agency. As I was sitting in the lobby of the service center, waiting for the rental car company, I was thinking "gee, I wonder if this little hottie is going to pick me up to take me to the rental place?". Just as soon as that little cartoon-balloon dissipated, a minivan pulls up and this little hottie strolls in. She's about the right size and shape, shoulder length curly hair... pretty nice. She drives me to the rental place. Small talk all the way. Here's my problem: I don't have the 'tools' within me to know whether she's trying to glean information just so the short ride is not so awkward or if she's really interested in me. The questions are really broad so I'm thinking she's just trying to pass time. But she keeps asking questions and the ride is not that awkward.

Once a quarter, the church that my brother attends has a fund-raising spaghetti dinner. It's $5 for all the spaghetti, garlic bread, salad and wine you can stuff in your face -- dessert is extra. In the grand scheme of things, it's not the best spaghetti I've ever had in my life, but for $5 dollars, all you can eat, it does just fine. I see it as a general social situation. My hope is that there will be some hot, single woman there. Well, there's good news and bad news in that area. The good news is that there are some hot women there. The bad news is that they're either too young or married. Okay, so let's say I hit the jackpot and find someone at one of these dinners. What if she's a total religious freak? Isn't it a bit of false advertising to be at a church social function and not expect that the woman would turn out to be religious. If she sees me there, she's bound to think that I'm religious -- which I'm not. "I'm just here fo

I got my hair cut about a week ago (maybe more). When I drove by the lake this morning, it was very glassy. Work continues to be busy and wears on me... I vowed not to talk about work in this forum but I was allowed to talk about the people at work... or maybe the situations. It's quiet sometimes. This is one of those times. I don't want to start tomorrow until I'm finished with today. I've always believed that "door-hinge" (a hyphenated word) is the only word in the English language that rhymed with orange. Maybe it's just me and maybe that's just a technicality. L-girl finally put her hair back normal. I think it looks better this way. She was wearing it long, a la Jennifer Aniston of "Friends", with the ends of it turning in just at the shoulders. Total stream-of-conscience stuff here. I haven't written in a while so I figured I'd just pour out what's in my head. I've been saving up stuff, apparently. Here's a true stor

SFX: Phone ringing (as if listener is making the call) Woman: Thank you for calling Kmart. How may I direct your call? Me: I'd like to talk to the manager. Woman: Hold please. SFX: 'On Hold' music plays. Manager: This is Melissa. How can I help you? Me: Hi. Are you the manager of this store? Manager: Yes. Can I ask what this is about? Me: It's about false advertising. Manager: I'm sorry, I -- Me: I was in your store earlier this evening. I walked down several aisles... Manager: I still don't see -- Me: There were only 4 women I saw. Manager: I'm sorry, sir. Can you tell me what this is regarding? Me: Yes. Your new tag line "I found love in a Kmart store". Manager (almost sarcastically): Oh, I see... Me: I went up and down almost every aisle in that store and I did not find love. (long pause, no response) Manager: (sighs) Me: I mean, it's on the flyers you send to people's homes. I have one in my hand right now. Manager: I don't think th

Meet the neighbor: I was mowing my lawn last week and I finally met my neighbor. I am not one of those people who is socially graceful so I wasn't really looking forward to it. I almost got the feeling he was not looking forward to it but wanted to get it over with. He could plainly see that I was almost done with my lawn when he wandered out into his back yard and started puttering around. We shook hands and spoke for a few minutes. When the elderly couple next door moved out, I always got the feeling they were not to happy about it. I imagined that something bad had happened and therefore they needed to move out. In talking with my neighbor, the old man wanted to move to Florida so he could play golf more (what, they don't have golf around here?). He (my new neighbor) seemed like a nice enough person. He asked me if I'd had any problems with crime because someone broke into his car. I mentioned that we rarely see any police action in the neighborhood. But just as I'm

I am very frustrated. Physically, emotionally and sexually. I've had a very tough couple of weeks at work. I haven't been sleeping well. My back is killing me so I'm taking some pills for that. I'm falling apart at the seams. So I settle in at home and they call me from work. I try and relax and I can feel their hands reach out to pull me back in. How is this considered weak? The phone rings. It's DubDub and she's in a good mood, which puts me in a good mood. She goes to work at some ungodly hour of the morning, yet she staves off sleep to talk to me. I find some bit of comfort in that. We talk and it's easy... it almost always was. She has it in her mind that she can call me at any time and that I'll be there for her. I haven't done anything to dissuade that mind-set. I wish things could have stayed like they were. Not the 'blow off' years, but the early times when it was all happiness and laughter. When the sex was good and there was plenty

I was driving home from Superman's place last night. I'm traveling down the freeway, minding my own business, and out of nowhere a car runs me off the road. I'm in the right-hand lane when this small silver car runs into my lane without so much as a by-your-leave. I slammed on my brakes and blasted my horn but ended up on the shoulder of the road. Now what you should understand is that there was no reason for him to do this. He didn't have anyone in front of him nor did I have anyone in front of me. There were some other cars behind and to the left of him. I really have no good reason as to why he almost took off my front left quarter panel. If I hadn't jammed on my brakes and turned quickly, he would have definitely hit me. So I was sitting there on the shoulder of the freeway, cursing the day that driver was ever born, as he took off and blended with traffic ahead. As I drove off, I was amazingly unshaken. I thought I'd be shaking or agitated... nothing. I was