On Monday I put my car in the shop. I needed some new tires, a tune-up and the like. I inquired about a 'loaner' car which they operate with a well-known rental car agency. As I was sitting in the lobby of the service center, waiting for the rental car company, I was thinking "gee, I wonder if this little hottie is going to pick me up to take me to the rental place?".
Just as soon as that little cartoon-balloon dissipated, a minivan pulls up and this little hottie strolls in. She's about the right size and shape, shoulder length curly hair... pretty nice. She drives me to the rental place. Small talk all the way.
Here's my problem: I don't have the 'tools' within me to know whether she's trying to glean information just so the short ride is not so awkward or if she's really interested in me. The questions are really broad so I'm thinking she's just trying to pass time. But she keeps asking questions and the ride is not that awkward.
So we reach the rental place (where she works) and she's going to be helping me sign out a car. "Wow! She has a really nice ass -- did I notice that before?" "She seems young" "I wonder how old she is" -- these are thoughts that are going through my head while I'm with her. And then I do what I'm not supposed to do: I wonder what's going on inside her head. Since her conversation with me at this point is stilted and business-like I'm wondering whether she really IS interested. I'm also wondering if that guy is her boss (boyfriend?) and that's why she's acting this way now.
Okay, so the work on my car gets done on Monday. I need to drop the rental car off and have them drive me back to the service center. She's working this morning but 'boss guy' is taking care of my paperwork this morning -- "she" is helping some other lady. Her hair is slicked back and she doesn't look as good as she did yesterday (why do women do that?).
Good news is that "she" will be taking me back to the service center where I'll pick up my car. Cool! We'll be taking the car that I rented. Neat!
So we're driving back, having a nice little conversation. She's telling me how she left the windows of her apartment open and the rain came in, soaking her couch. Is this personal enough for me to make a move? I'm thinking not. But wait -- the story gets interesting: The Awkward 'Goodbye'.
So we pull into the place and we're gearing up for that weird 'goodbye' that people in our predicament get into. Do we shake hands? Do I just get out and say nothing? What?
I unhook my seatbelt and I'm reaching in my wallet to give her one of my cards. Maybe she wants to call sometime (?). Just as I do, there's someone coming out and we're blocking the only outlet. She puts the car in reverse and says a ham-handed "thanks". Before I know it, I've got the door open and I'm standing outside as she pulls away. I stand there, sort of slack-jawed as she drives away. Hmm.
See? These are the situations I get into. Let me give you the story of 'Flirting 101':
I'm headed out to lunch one day (it's been a few months now). I'm waiting at a red light behind a large dump truck (1st position), a small white car (2nd position) -- and me (3rd position). Light turns green and the dump truck pulls away with all the speed of molasses in winter. We're all making a left-hand turn to a road that has 2 lanes. For what seems like an eternity, this dump track cannot make up its mind as to which lane it wants to be in.
Finally, he decides to go into the right-hand lane -- which the white car needed to be in, so she followed him into the lane. I also need to be in the right lane but I enter the left lane and zoom by them both... or at least try. There's some other traffic in that lane, so I end up behind the dump truck and the white car.
In the meantime, I have glanced over at the driver in the white car. She looks cute, but approachable. Her sandy blond hair is pulled tight back with a rooster clip, the ends of her hair shooting off in all directions on the back of her head. She looked a little peeved to be behind this dump truck.
At some point, the dump truck turn off and I'm still behind 'lady white car'. It turns out that she's going the same place I am -- one of those gas station places where they have a really good food mart. She pulls in to fill up her gas tank. I head inside to get my food. I really think nothing more is going to happen.
As I'm standing in line, paying for my food, I see her finish pumping gas and start to head for the cashier (where I am). I head out the door and I'm heading for my car (which is right by the door) when she walks up.
"Hi", I say to her. She flashes me a grin -- one of those grins that last for about a half a second. I don't blame her, she doesn't know me from Adam. Anyhow, I say to her "I was behind you when you were 'stuck' behind that big dump truck".
She grabs the handle of the door to the place, wheels around and asks "Ugh... you're not hitting on me, are you?" She pulls the door open and walks through the first set of double doors.
"Not anymore", I say almost under my breath. I'm not sure if she heard me. Here I was trying to reach out to someone whose plight I understood and she shot me down like a clay pigeon at a firing range.
Pull!
Just as soon as that little cartoon-balloon dissipated, a minivan pulls up and this little hottie strolls in. She's about the right size and shape, shoulder length curly hair... pretty nice. She drives me to the rental place. Small talk all the way.
Here's my problem: I don't have the 'tools' within me to know whether she's trying to glean information just so the short ride is not so awkward or if she's really interested in me. The questions are really broad so I'm thinking she's just trying to pass time. But she keeps asking questions and the ride is not that awkward.
So we reach the rental place (where she works) and she's going to be helping me sign out a car. "Wow! She has a really nice ass -- did I notice that before?" "She seems young" "I wonder how old she is" -- these are thoughts that are going through my head while I'm with her. And then I do what I'm not supposed to do: I wonder what's going on inside her head. Since her conversation with me at this point is stilted and business-like I'm wondering whether she really IS interested. I'm also wondering if that guy is her boss (boyfriend?) and that's why she's acting this way now.
Okay, so the work on my car gets done on Monday. I need to drop the rental car off and have them drive me back to the service center. She's working this morning but 'boss guy' is taking care of my paperwork this morning -- "she" is helping some other lady. Her hair is slicked back and she doesn't look as good as she did yesterday (why do women do that?).
Good news is that "she" will be taking me back to the service center where I'll pick up my car. Cool! We'll be taking the car that I rented. Neat!
So we're driving back, having a nice little conversation. She's telling me how she left the windows of her apartment open and the rain came in, soaking her couch. Is this personal enough for me to make a move? I'm thinking not. But wait -- the story gets interesting: The Awkward 'Goodbye'.
So we pull into the place and we're gearing up for that weird 'goodbye' that people in our predicament get into. Do we shake hands? Do I just get out and say nothing? What?
I unhook my seatbelt and I'm reaching in my wallet to give her one of my cards. Maybe she wants to call sometime (?). Just as I do, there's someone coming out and we're blocking the only outlet. She puts the car in reverse and says a ham-handed "thanks". Before I know it, I've got the door open and I'm standing outside as she pulls away. I stand there, sort of slack-jawed as she drives away. Hmm.
See? These are the situations I get into. Let me give you the story of 'Flirting 101':
I'm headed out to lunch one day (it's been a few months now). I'm waiting at a red light behind a large dump truck (1st position), a small white car (2nd position) -- and me (3rd position). Light turns green and the dump truck pulls away with all the speed of molasses in winter. We're all making a left-hand turn to a road that has 2 lanes. For what seems like an eternity, this dump track cannot make up its mind as to which lane it wants to be in.
Finally, he decides to go into the right-hand lane -- which the white car needed to be in, so she followed him into the lane. I also need to be in the right lane but I enter the left lane and zoom by them both... or at least try. There's some other traffic in that lane, so I end up behind the dump truck and the white car.
In the meantime, I have glanced over at the driver in the white car. She looks cute, but approachable. Her sandy blond hair is pulled tight back with a rooster clip, the ends of her hair shooting off in all directions on the back of her head. She looked a little peeved to be behind this dump truck.
At some point, the dump truck turn off and I'm still behind 'lady white car'. It turns out that she's going the same place I am -- one of those gas station places where they have a really good food mart. She pulls in to fill up her gas tank. I head inside to get my food. I really think nothing more is going to happen.
As I'm standing in line, paying for my food, I see her finish pumping gas and start to head for the cashier (where I am). I head out the door and I'm heading for my car (which is right by the door) when she walks up.
"Hi", I say to her. She flashes me a grin -- one of those grins that last for about a half a second. I don't blame her, she doesn't know me from Adam. Anyhow, I say to her "I was behind you when you were 'stuck' behind that big dump truck".
She grabs the handle of the door to the place, wheels around and asks "Ugh... you're not hitting on me, are you?" She pulls the door open and walks through the first set of double doors.
"Not anymore", I say almost under my breath. I'm not sure if she heard me. Here I was trying to reach out to someone whose plight I understood and she shot me down like a clay pigeon at a firing range.
Pull!