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How I Met My Mother

I have talked about a lot of women in my life, but I rarely talk about my mother. My mother and I have always had an interesting relationship. I am the youngest of 4 children. My brother, the oldest, two sisters and me. Some days I’m not sure she knew what to do with me.

Long time readers will note that I recently went on vacation with my parents and one of my mother’s sisters. I got the feeling when we were planning this thing that my mother never expected me to go. None of my siblings went but I wanted a vacation. I think I was asked in the casual, backhanded way that people do. Such as:

* How are you?
* Need anything before I go?
* Do you want to eat this before I throw it out?
* Were you interested in going to the family reunion?

That kind of thing. I don’t think my mother was expecting a “yes” from me.

My dad was in the Military and therefore away quite a bit when I was younger. I don’t feel like I knew my dad until I was in my teens. When my brother and sisters moved out, I lived with my parents for a number of years… a great many more years than I should have. Even though my parents were pushing me out of the house, I liked living with them. We were pretty compatible roommates. They did their thing downstairs and I had the whole upstairs to myself.

Then they got a bug in their ear that the house they were living in was too big (a 5-bedroom house for 3 people does seem like a lot – there were days we didn’t see each other).

I’m sure most people have a “living with the parents until I moved out” story. Some people wanted to stay; some people couldn’t wait to leave. I figured my exodus from my parent’s house was going to be by way of the Military… but that didn’t quite work out.

Actually, my first roommate was Superman. We spent a couple of years living together. We spent a couple years apart after that. You know how those things go.

I’m happy to say that once I moved out of my parent’s house I stayed out. Both of my sisters moved back in at certain times of their lives. I had some hard times, but it was just me. They both had kids to support so I’m quite sure it was much harder.

Some tips I picked up in the ‘hard times’:
- At the time, McDonalds had the best toilet paper
- If you take enough ketchup packets and mix them together with hot water and some small pepper packets, it makes a fairly decent tomato soup
- Hardee’s doesn’t do it anymore, but they used to have a “Fixins Bar” that was great for making a salad
- Some hotels are loose with their towels (I’m not naming any names)
- It’s amazing what you can find in a Laundromat

I better stop before somebody does something bad with these little tricks. If you lived through some hard times, I’m sure you have tips of your own.

How did I get from talking about my mother to ripping off fast food restaurants? Six degrees.

Next time: See how I can turn the conversation from Turkish currency to how things get stuck in my teeth. It’ll be fascinating.

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