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Some Advice

I view quite a few pornographic video clips and I have some advice to offer for the directors. Some of these seem obvious but there are a lot of mistakes being made. I hope this corrects some of those:

Lighting: This is a key element of visual design. If you cannot see the object in question, all is lost. Be aware of natural light. I can’t tell you how many times the subject has been backlit – which makes her a silhouette. Not good. Also be aware of where the light is coming from. I tend to see a lot of “hot spots” that appear on the girls faces which washes them out in an unflattering manner. Bottom line: lighting is critical.

Camera angles: I can appreciate that some of this video is Point of view (POV) but stop with the “Batman” angles. If I have to tilt my head to watch the video correctly, that’s wrong. Keep in mind that body parts are going to move and turn during the action. A still shot that catches her knee is not what I’m looking for.

Ponytails: Has nobody ever heard of rubber bands? When the woman is going down on the guy, why is either of them futzing with her hair? Go buy a box of 100 rubber bands for a dollar or splurge for a scrunchie and pull that hair back out of her face. You can let her hair fly in other scenes but this particular scenario is key.

Length: There are a couple of sites that I use to view videos. When I first started visiting, the lengths of the clips were perfect – 3, 4 or 5 minutes long. That length is just perfect. I can get in, do what I need to do, and get out. When you post a video that’s an hour long I don’t want to invest that much time to the process. I’m not sure why the mentality changed but it needs to change back.

The guy: In a scene with a man and a woman we don’t care about seeing the expression of the guy. We don’t care what he looks like; we’re just trying to put ourselves in his position. This is harder to do when we see what he looks like. Yes, we understand our body may look a little different than his – that doesn’t matter. It’s our fantasy and his reality. We just want our fantasy.

The hair: Some men appreciate a woman who does a little landscaping down there. I am one of them. It doesn’t have to be bald (which I am also okay with) just a little cleaned up. We just want to know that you care.

The happy ending: I am not one of those who think that a guy needs to ejaculate to have a successful video clip. The sheer act of passion is enough for me. It always helps if the woman appears to be having a good time but not overacting to get that appearance.

Spelling: Please take note – it’s spelled “Amateur”. Know it, live it.

Close ups: These are okay every now and then. Please learn when close is TOO close.

Focus: An out of focus video is annoying. Learn to use your camera correctly before uploading your home made clips. I’m sure your wife is beautiful but we don’t know that if we can’t make her out.

Get to it: I don’t need a lot of story in my pornographic video clips. You are not remaking “Gone With The Wind” on these deals. Don’t start with a coy beauty in short dress acting like she’s NOT in a porno. We all know she is. We all know she’s going to get naked. We all know she’s going to be doing other stuff and we’re interested to find out what that is. Just get to it so we can move on with our lives.

If we could just get these few items corrected I’m sure we’d all have a much more enjoyable experience watching these videos.

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