Down On Ferry Farm

I had another interview yesterday. It was for a company that is right down the street from me – it only took me 10 minutes to get there… with really heavy traffic. I was finally interviewed for a job that I’m perfect for. Usually when I go to these things there’s always some question they ask that I have to answer “No”. “So, do you do any SQL programming?” – well, no, I don’t. This time, no such questions were asked and I was happy and confident about my answers. I don’t want to get my hopes up, but isn’t that what they’re for? In other sad news… I was dealt a really emotional blow. I lost a pair of friends yesterday and I said my ‘goodbye’ today. They’ll be picked up tomorrow and I’m quite sure that my life will never be the same because they are not a part of my life anymore. I have come to rely on this pair – heavily – over the past 10 years. I tried to recall how long I have known them and I think it’s around 9 or 10 years. They have become such an integral part of my life it just ...

I’ve always been amazed at the wisdom found on your ordinary bumper sticker. It never ceases to amaze me how someone can take a broad concept and boil it down to its most basic level and be easily digested by anyone. Below are some that I stumbled upon recently which I thought I’d share: THE DEFINITION OF STUPIDITY * If you always do what you always did, you'll always get what you always got PRACTICALITY * Whenever I feel blue I start breathing again THE FUTURE * I'm leaving my body to science fiction ECONOMICS * The buck doesn't even slow down here REALITY * Ask me about my explosively angry reaction to stupid questions GOOD ADVICE * Follow your dreams (except that one where you're at school in your underwear) HOW TO LIVE * Live so that your friends can defend you but never have to SUCCESS VS FAILURE * Many of life's failures are people who didn't realize how close they were to success when they gave up -- Thomas Edison CONVERSATION * Talk only if you can impro...

I’ve been hiding a secret for quite some time now and I think it’s about time I shared it with everyone. I have been listening to indie music. That’s not the secret. The secret is WHERE I’ve been listening to it. I’ve been keeping this one to myself and have enjoyed every minute of hunting through the site for just the perfect nugget I wanted to hear. There were times I found nothing at all. At The Hype Machine they scour music blogs for songs that people are listening to and recommending from their individual music blogs. Most of these bands I’ve never heard of. Some are pretty terrible – but that’s just my opinion, you may not think the same thing. And I wasn’t kidding before – sometimes you do have to put in some time to find something worth listening to, but once you do you feel like you’ve really found something. At least, I feel this way. Simple, clean interface. Want to listen? Press the ‘Play’ button. Want to stop the song? Press the ‘Stop’ button. Want to know what song you’r...

In an effort to follow-up on my job hunt, I must tell you that I was not offered a job from either company for which I interviewed. The first company I visited actually had me come back again. I saw this as a good sign. It is generally accepted to inquire about the status of the position a week after interviewing, which I was prepared to do. They couldn’t wait until Thursday and sent me a ‘dear john’ letter on Wednesday. The second company I was pretty sure wasn’t going to make me an offer. When I walked out of the office (after the interview) I just felt like they were looking for someone I’m not. Officially, the owner said he would have a decision made before Friday but, like I said, I’m not holding my breath. He said he had 4 or 5 candidates and – unless all of them decline – I’m not expecting to hear from him. Finding a job is tough. I spend a couple of hours a day looking through all the online postings, waiting to find one for which I’m qualified. It’s almost like begging, which ...

I was sitting around my house on Tuesday morning doing nothing in particular when the phone rings. “Hi”, said the friendly voice “we received your resume and would like to bring you in for an interview”. So we set up a time on Wednesday to meet. Awesome. As is my custom, I like to ‘scope out’ the site beforehand so that I know where I’m going on the actual day of the meeting. So I do a Google Map of the location and head out on Tuesday afternoon. One this to note is that we’ve had some fires around some local cities and the odor can be detected many miles away (I can smell them from my house even though they’re nowhere near me). When I drive to this new town (which is 2 towns over from where I live) I can smell the burning like I’m standing in the middle of a campfire. So I’m criss-crossing the whole city looking for one street and I have yet to come across it. I drive down a whole lot of other streets but not the one I’m looking for. Something must be wrong with my directions. I’m hun...

I happened to see two movies today with no apparent link until I noticed that they both ended with the letter “O”. I didn’t plan that. First up, Superman and I went to see “Juno”. Every year around this time Superman makes a flight of fancy to see every picture nominated for Best Picture of the Oscars. I don’t have a problem with it, I just think it’s interesting. “Juno” is basically about a 16 year old, high school junior who has gotten herself pregnant. She immediately decides the best thing to do is to give the baby up for adoption. So she and her stereotypical air-headed, cheerleader friend check the ‘Penny Saver’ for a good couple to give the baby to. (yeah, that's where *I'd* go...) So they find a well off couple that lives in a nice neighborhood, with a nice house and nice furniture. Nice, right? Well, Juno falls hook-line-and-sinker for the couple and even feels the need to try and connect with them. I guess, for me, it wasn’t about what was seen in the movie but what ...

This will probably be the least interesting post I’ve done in quite some time. I only say that because there’s really nothing going on. I still haven’t found a job. I still haven’t found love. I don’t even have a good rant to go on. Really, the only thing to complain about is the lack of TV. We should be knee-deep into the second half of the season and there is nothing but reality and reruns on. Daytime TV is terrible unless you like talk shows, soap operas, infomercials or Lifetime television movies. I am in none of these categories. I told you this would be bad. I tried to warn you.

Makes me laugh just looking at it:

I feel like I’m getting closer to a job. I got a call from a potential employer today. My sleep pattern was totally blown and they called while I was napping. Not to sound mean but I could barely understand the guy who was asking me the questions. From his accent I would say he was Spanish or Portuguese. Some of the questions were a little redundant, too. The reason I don’t like getting these calls is that I immediately start imagining I have the job. I start picturing in my head the things I’m going to do once I’m hired. The problem is that I’ve done this with ‘nibbles’ before and get a bit of an empty feeling when they don’t come through. Such is my lot in life, I suppose. I hate getting those stereotypical questions, “why did you leave your last job?” (Especially since I was let-go), “What are your strengths?”, “What are your weaknesses?” etc. I have my ‘pat’ answers ready to go so the trick is trying to sound sincere. I’m starving so I’m going to eat something now.

I have recently begun to question some of my long-held beliefs. For years I thought something was true and it turns out now I was wrong all these years. I don’t need to get into specifics; I just wanted to relay that concept to you. I begin to question my own sanity. How could I have missed the signals that – whatever it was – is now true? Why didn’t anyone point out the fact that I was wrong all this time? These are not opinions of mine, but facts. I just don’t understand. It’s also interesting to me to see someone’s opinion questioned. They are so sure their opinion is the correct one they can’t stand it when someone says something contradictory. “I think blue widgets are the greatest widgets ever made”, someone will say. “Well, I think that green widgets are the best ever”, another will admit. You know what? It’s an opinion – don’t treat it like it’s a fact that no one can dispute. It’s just how we feel – it’s not real. In fact, opinions can change. It’s okay if your opinion about s...

I happened to check the last blog posting I had done and I was positive I had written one in the New Year. This was not the case, so here goes: Well, it’s a different year and things are starting to pick up on the job front. I seem to be getting more calls. All of them have been the “getting more information” type calls. They usually end with the caller either saying “this job is not for you” or “we’ll get back to you in the next couple of days”. At the same time it is both encouraging and disheartening. DubDub and I went on a ‘date’ this evening. We went do a very nice seafood place with absolutely incredible food. She got the stuffed flounder and I had the rockfish. I don’t recall if I’ve ever had rockfish or if it’s just been a long time. Either way, I liked it. While we were waiting for our table (about 20 minutes – well worth the wait) there was a little drama at the bar. There were three young ladies sitting at the end of the bar that ‘appeared’ to be paying their tab and leaving...

I was just doing some general nonsense around the house, listening to some music on iTunes and I noticed a weird pattern in the songs that were playing. I think my music was trying to tell me something. I skipped back through the most recently played songs and tried to understand what the music was saying. I understand that you can hear what you want but I’ll try and explain what I heard: Richie Havens, “Here Comes The Sun”: One of the cable channels started re-running “The Wonder Years” a while back (they have since stopped, not sure why). During one of the scenes this Beatles cover played. I remember hearing this song when I was younger, when I was in school (like the TV characters were) and I recall the hope of the song. “ Here comes the sun and, I say, it’s all right …” Sarah McLachlan, “Fumbling Towards Ecstasy”: “ All the fear has left me now/ I’m not frightened anymore/ It’s my heart that pounds beneath my flesh/ It’s my mouth that pushes out this breath ”. I see this as a hopef...

Okay, as my final rant for this year, I’m going to set some things straight. There are some oxymoronic statements out there that I feel need to be corrected – heavy on the “moronic”. New and Improved: Okay, this one I’ve never understood. Let’s break this down… if something is ‘new’ it has never existed before. If it is ‘improved’ then is now different than it was before and, presumably, better. Something cannot be both ‘new’ and ‘improved’ at the same time. It was new last month and THEN we improved it… that’s fine. Please don’t say it’s new AND improved. Quick tangent on ‘new’: How old can something be and still be considered new? I hear that on the radio sometimes and feel that it’s incorrect to call a 6-month old song ‘new’. I just don’t know what the cutoff is. Moving along… Over and Out: It’s so silly hearing this when it occurs in a military movie. You see two guys talking on radios and one gives a command and the other guy responds “Over and out”. You’re going to find it sil...

It’s interesting what you find when you clean up. This time out I found a mini tape recorder – you know, the kind that takes those tiny little tapes. Anyhow, the batteries had gotten that build up of gunk on them so I had to replace them. When I did, I listened to the tape. It was an old answering machine tape. I heard my outgoing message and then all the incoming ones that people had left for me. There were a couple from my family, a couple from Superman, one from an old girlfriend, and one from sister’s ex-husband. It was kind of weird. I’m not sure why he was calling me even after hearing his message. It was funny hearing their voices. Not much else to report, I’m sorry to say. I’ll let you know if I hear more or make other discoveries.

I’m feeling a bit melancholy tonight. You’ve been warned. I glued the phone handset to the base – it hasn’t been used in quite a while so I thought that would be best. I’m not feeling well and when that happens, everyone calls and wants to do something. Only on a Friday. I had no less than three invitations, all of which were declined due to my feeling less than 100 percent. Tomorrow I will remove my brain. It seems that’s the only way to find what I want. Someone is going to read this and be overly critical. I will blame the medicine I’m taking. Do you know in Britain there are no Pharmacists? Over there they call them “Chemists”. Isn’t that wonderful? There is a large amount of vernacular the Brits use that we don’t and vice versa. It’s almost Christmas. This time of year always gets me down and I think I know the reason why: no fresh air. I’ve been cooped up in this house for a few weeks now with the same stale air and dust mites. I have traveled out a bit but not enough to rejuvena...

Wow, I looked at how long it’s been since I’ve written I thought I’d catch you up on what’s going on. Still not working: I would say this year has not been my best in terms of what’s happened. I am only blaming Karma because I don’t know how else to explain it. I’d love analyze this year frame-by-frame to see where I went wrong but that just isn’t going to happen. Christmas party: I went to my former company’s Christmas party – the one before this most-recent one. It was about the same as all the years I remember being there. The higher-ups get drunk, people eat, people drink, people dance, the president makes a sappy speech “this is the best year ever because of you”, and then all the employees go home with a bonus check. G-Lady: I know I haven’t talked about her in a while but she’s been bugging me to come over and set up her new computer (that is now 6 months old). I get over there and she tells me she just got digital cable but it doesn’t work with any of her TV’s, so she’s boug...

I woke up this morning with the best of intentions. In an effort to clean out my house, I found some material that I wanted to recycle. I looked online for some places that would accept the items and felt like I did my homework. I started with the places that were closest to me. Some places only accept aluminum, some only cardboard – so I looked for places that accepted all of what I had. There appeared to be 4 of them and they were all within city limits. Great. So off I went to the first location. Well, what they didn’t tell you is that they charge by the pound… and me without my checkbook. I headed off to the next location (the high school from which I graduated) but stopped off at another location I THOUGHT had some recycling containers. Apparently that location no longer had the receptacles because I looked all around so I headed to the school. Upon reaching the high school I did not see any recycling center. It mentioned online that this was a “manned” location that was open 24-h...

Over the past few weeks I’ve gotten some terrible news about myself. People around me are somehow misunderstanding me. I don’t know how that happened. First, Renee breaks up with me and says part of the reason is “not what you say, but how you say it”. Then my job lets me go due to what I consider a huge lack of communication between my boss and me. It’s like I was saying the words but they weren’t being understood. Finally, DubDub and I are talking on the phone. She says I’ve been feisty lately. “What do you mean feisty?” I ask her “Can you give me an example?” She can’t come up with a specific example but has a problem with “not what you say, but how you say it”. Sound familiar? I really, truly and honestly don’t know what I’m doing wrong. These are general statements of dislike without specific examples to learn from. I see a trend but I don’t know how to stop it. I wouldn’t mind if others were thrown by my words but it affects me greatly when I’m losing jobs and relationships over ...

I figured that, being out of work, I’d spend more time doing things that I needed to get done. To a certain extent, I have but to that other extent – I haven’t. I wanted to write more and be more creative than I have been that past few years. My mind has been cluttered with passwords, procedures, documentation and habits. It’s hard to keep telling myself that I’m just taking a vacation. It’s getting harder to suspend the truth. I’ve spent most of my time at home trying to get my house in order – both literally and figuratively. My kitchen has never been cleaner. Where there is usually a stack of dishes on the counter there currently is none. I feel like all I do these days is sleep, eat and watch TV. It’s more of an existence than a life. I have to keep telling myself that things will get better. For my own good I have to keep going forward. I need to see how this story ends. I need to start each paragraph with “I”.

If my body truly does remember everything that’s happened to it, I think this is what it would have to say: “Laying in the warm sun feels nice. Cool breeze. Too bad you won’t remember it” “The fall from the 3rd story window did not feel good. I don’t care if you thought that bush would break your fall – it didn’t” “This is a new place to live but you’ve become a lot more conservative with me. You would find out that girl has smooth skin if you would only touch it” “You were in a fight today but only your heart feels bad” “You tried to run fast but there were others there who were faster” “I feel like I’m building to something good but there are too many people around” “Pressing through these crowded hallways reveals neither pain nor pleasure” “That watch is too tight” “It’s good to see you breaking out of your shell” “Man, the foot is in pain but I know a tetanus shot will fix that discoloration” “I am strong” “5 more push-ups? Are you kidding me? No way” “I can’t believe that, after e...