I went to see the movie "The 40 Year Old Virgin" tonight. Superman had his store closed so I had nowhere to go. The movie has some very funny moments, and some that hit a little close to home.
First of all, I'm sitting in the theater about 5 minutes before the show is supposed to start (really the previews, but you know what I mean). I'm looking around thinking "there are, like, no seats left". I look over at the door -- they're still coming in. Okay, finally it slows down and the crowd stops... wait! Look! There are more people coming in. I couldn't believe it. I don't know where they all sat but we all fit in there. I love amphitheater-style seating.
Anyhow, back to the movie: a lot of what he did that seemed 'weird' was stuff I could see myself doing (like collecting action figures in their original packaging). I mean, it's been so long I could almost consider myself a virgin again. Good lord. There is no way on this Earth that you could ever show this movie on regular TV. It would be about half an hour long. There are just so many things said and done that are R-rated that you couldn't clean it up... language notwithstanding.
As I'm walking out of the theater, going back to my car, I had an epiphany: You're alive because someone's daughter is no longer a virgin. It seems so simple, doesn't it? You don't really think of your life in those terms so I thought it was kind of odd that I saw it that way. I saw so many young ladies walking around the plaza outside the mall thinking "that is someone's daughter".
Maybe that's a big part of my issue -- I think about things like this (yes, I have issues -- women issues). I am alive because my grandfather's daughter lost her virginity. I mean, she had lost it way before me because I have older siblings, but hopefully you catch my drift. I try not to think of the 'graphic' aspects of my conception... so, let's move on.
I am almost to the point where I can say that I'm celibate. I've had sex before but that was so long ago. When DubDub and I got together not long ago, for some reason we both admitted that we were each other's last sex. We had every right to change that, but as of this writing we have not. I feel like George Costanza of 'Seinfeld' fame: "I can't even imagine a series of events that would lead up to sex".
I have to stop this self-deprecating attitude I have. I watched the couples as they entered the theater tonight... holding hands, snuggling together, sharing popcorn, talking, laughing and just being together. I miss that. I miss being able to talk to women on an intimate level and just be comfortable about the whole thing. That conversation you have right after sex in the morning when neither of you has anywhere to go. I love that... I miss that. You know you're not a virgin after that.
Why is that pressure there? It's almost like a validation that someone else would consent to have sex with you. I mean, you can have sex with yourself but that's almost like dancing in public by yourself. There's no joy in that... well, not much anyhow and it gets boring after a while.
But just the fact that you've shared and intimate physical event with someone when both of you happen to be naked just seems like some sort of vindication for being born. For some men, it's almost like a sport to see how many women he can get 'in the sack'. For women, it seems to be just the opposite. They don't want to be considered 'easy' or 'slutty'. We both want our cake and be able to blow out the candles -- after sex! (you thought I was gonna say 'eat it too', didn't you?)
You're alive because someone's daughter is not a virgin.
... and don't you forget it.
First of all, I'm sitting in the theater about 5 minutes before the show is supposed to start (really the previews, but you know what I mean). I'm looking around thinking "there are, like, no seats left". I look over at the door -- they're still coming in. Okay, finally it slows down and the crowd stops... wait! Look! There are more people coming in. I couldn't believe it. I don't know where they all sat but we all fit in there. I love amphitheater-style seating.
Anyhow, back to the movie: a lot of what he did that seemed 'weird' was stuff I could see myself doing (like collecting action figures in their original packaging). I mean, it's been so long I could almost consider myself a virgin again. Good lord. There is no way on this Earth that you could ever show this movie on regular TV. It would be about half an hour long. There are just so many things said and done that are R-rated that you couldn't clean it up... language notwithstanding.
As I'm walking out of the theater, going back to my car, I had an epiphany: You're alive because someone's daughter is no longer a virgin. It seems so simple, doesn't it? You don't really think of your life in those terms so I thought it was kind of odd that I saw it that way. I saw so many young ladies walking around the plaza outside the mall thinking "that is someone's daughter".
Maybe that's a big part of my issue -- I think about things like this (yes, I have issues -- women issues). I am alive because my grandfather's daughter lost her virginity. I mean, she had lost it way before me because I have older siblings, but hopefully you catch my drift. I try not to think of the 'graphic' aspects of my conception... so, let's move on.
I am almost to the point where I can say that I'm celibate. I've had sex before but that was so long ago. When DubDub and I got together not long ago, for some reason we both admitted that we were each other's last sex. We had every right to change that, but as of this writing we have not. I feel like George Costanza of 'Seinfeld' fame: "I can't even imagine a series of events that would lead up to sex".
I have to stop this self-deprecating attitude I have. I watched the couples as they entered the theater tonight... holding hands, snuggling together, sharing popcorn, talking, laughing and just being together. I miss that. I miss being able to talk to women on an intimate level and just be comfortable about the whole thing. That conversation you have right after sex in the morning when neither of you has anywhere to go. I love that... I miss that. You know you're not a virgin after that.
Why is that pressure there? It's almost like a validation that someone else would consent to have sex with you. I mean, you can have sex with yourself but that's almost like dancing in public by yourself. There's no joy in that... well, not much anyhow and it gets boring after a while.
But just the fact that you've shared and intimate physical event with someone when both of you happen to be naked just seems like some sort of vindication for being born. For some men, it's almost like a sport to see how many women he can get 'in the sack'. For women, it seems to be just the opposite. They don't want to be considered 'easy' or 'slutty'. We both want our cake and be able to blow out the candles -- after sex! (you thought I was gonna say 'eat it too', didn't you?)
You're alive because someone's daughter is not a virgin.
... and don't you forget it.