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It's not fair

You can say I'm whining -- I don't care! It's just not fair. Why does it look so easy? It's the media's fault for making it look so easy. (I've talked my way into this, let's see if I can talk my way out).

Once again I watched an episode of "How I Met Your Mother". It's like they held a mirror to my life and wrote down what they saw in the reflection. It was so spot-on I almost cried. This time it had to do with the main character ('Ted') asking the girl of his dreams ('Robin') to a wedding. Ted runs into the bride on the street and she informs him that he didn't check 'plus one' on his RSVP so he can't bring a date. Well, he's already asked Robin to go and Ted wants Robin to go and Robin is very excited about going. When the day comes, it turns out Robin has to cancel to be a news anchor (her job).

He looks at her, dejected, and tells her to go while she's on the phone with her job. I've seen that face before. I've made that face before. I can't put into words the feelings that moment conjured up and I'm probably not explaining this whole situation well. You just haven't lived my life for me. It's about the little things you'll allow to pass by and the ones you won't.

One of the sentiments the show brought forth is that relationships should be easy. "If it's not easy, it's not right..." I can't tell you how many times I've said that in regards to women -- and I don't mean in the bad way.

On the other hand, single men take a beating on TV (and -- YES -- I know that TV is not life). They're portrayed as one-dimensional, porn-loving, women-using, self-absorbed simpletons. We're so much more than that but it's easy to point out the stereotypes in a sitcom.

(kinda funny: "Luck Be A Lady Tonight" by Frank Sinatra just came up on iTunes. How fitting...)

We're a lot more complicated than women make us out to be. And if you're female and you're reading this and not believing it then you don't know me at all. I think that's a big part of my problem: I want to stand in the shadows but yet wonder why no one sees me. The theater is empty when I stand in the spotlight.

Just when I'm feeling confident about it, I'm quietly wondering if I can make a relationship work. It's hard, from what I understand. I just want a love like gravity -- I don't want to have to think about it, it's just there. It's not that I'd be lazy about it, I just want it to be easy. I want it to be logical, make sense. I don't need to control every aspect, in fact she'd probably lead. I just want someone soft to come home to and be with. I want a date for the wedding.

I'll check 'plus one'.

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