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Second thoughts

I went for a 2nd interview with this 'new' company today. I was offered the job. I told him I'd have to think about it.

You know, there's something to be said for the safety and security of a job. When you walk in the door and everyone knows you -- and you know everyone. When someone explains their problems and you know the answer. There's comfort in that.

I probably screwed myself the most by talking to my boss about it. She didn't really put up much of a fight, I must say. She left it up to me to decide. I told her that I was talking to her about it as a courtesy... I could have just handed in my resignation and said 'buh-bye'. But I didn't. "Where's your head at?", she asked me. I told her I didn't know -- which was the truth. I wane back and forth.

The biggest problem with my current job is that I've been there so long I've seen the same problems come and go -- along with some really good people. I'm tired of solving the same problems over and over. They seem to throw all the crap my way and I've just taken it like a scared child.

But, again, there's that security. These people love me (boy do I have them fooled!). I know at least a half dozen people that will be supremely surprised by an announcement of my leaving.

I'd be an idiot to turn this opportunity down. I would regret it my entire life. "What if..." I'd never know the answer to that. I am filled with self doubt about my abilities to do this new job yet it's one I know I can do. I'm afraid that I'll screw something up and they'll let me go.

It's true that I have job security where I am. I don't want to burn any bridges.

I told the 'new' guy that I'd let him know on Monday (which is Memorial Day). I didn't realize that when I told him. What am I gonna do...

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