A few years ago I tried to write something called “The Maintenance Manifesto”. The basic premise was that everything in our lives needs maintenance. The problem is that there are so many things that could be applied that it spun out of control. I even tried to just apply it to my life and I could see it being larger than an unabridged dictionary.
Here’s an example of where I was going:
You get up in the morning, woken by an alarm clock that is plugged into the wall and powered by electricity that you pay for every month. You bought those sheets at Sears with money from a job in which you are paid for doing some kind of service. The money you made also pays for the breakfast that you eat and every light you turn on. You must maintain your current lifestyle. You must shop for groceries to maintain your current level of health. You need to appear at your job and maintain your current pay. You need to lock your doors so that the things you’ve bought aren’t stolen. You need to cut your grass so that your neighbors don’t complain. You need to maintain safe driving so that you won’t get penalized or kill yourself by your actions. You need to maintain your life.
Honestly, it wasn’t supposed to be all about maintaining the “status quo”. It was supposed to be how we have to maintain those things in our life that move life along. Relationships with your friends, your family, co-workers, your boss, your neighbors and everyone else come into play. I think you can see how easy this can get complicated over time and by situations that are different from your own. Just raising kids is complicated enough; imagine having to do it as a single mother.
And now to my point: Healthcare. As I continue to live, I see the medical issues of my family coming more to the foreground. Much of it is due to age and, at times, I get worried about the near future. I worry things will change in a drastic and life-altering way. I don’t want that to happen. I understand the risks and responsibilities of my current situation and I am willing to do whatever is necessary for me to maintain this lifestyle. I am not willing to compromise this just because of some deteriorating situation in which I cannot control.
I am not a control freak and fully understand that there are situations that are totally out of my control. When DubDub calls and says she wants to come over and we end up having sex, this is totally out of my control. This particular situation I don’t mind giving up that control. But other times when I feel like I should have control and I don’t – I don’t like those.
Other times, I want to hand off control to others but those people are unwilling to accept the responsibility I have granted them. I don’t understand those either. I am not giving them a “career limiting” job or anything. I am just trying to do some good and people don’t see it that way.
I just have to accept that my family is aging and there is nothing I can do to reverse this. My parents understand how difficult it was to raise four children who never did hard time or hard drugs. There were marriages and divorces but nothing any of us kids did damaged ourselves irreparably. Of course, parents of disabled or mentally challenged children are exempt because they did not bring their situation on themselves – unless they brought their situation on themselves (by doing drugs or the like).
Look, it’s all about maintaining what you want to maintain. If you don’t have the time or energy to commit to a relationship – then don’t. If you let something go, then it will live without your input. It’s as simple as that. I hear people talking about things they wish they had done… Relationships they should have kept up with.
If it was really important to you, you should keep up the maintenance. If not, you need not wrestle with the idea forever. Keep the parts of your life that will define you and cut out those that do not.
Here’s an example of where I was going:
You get up in the morning, woken by an alarm clock that is plugged into the wall and powered by electricity that you pay for every month. You bought those sheets at Sears with money from a job in which you are paid for doing some kind of service. The money you made also pays for the breakfast that you eat and every light you turn on. You must maintain your current lifestyle. You must shop for groceries to maintain your current level of health. You need to appear at your job and maintain your current pay. You need to lock your doors so that the things you’ve bought aren’t stolen. You need to cut your grass so that your neighbors don’t complain. You need to maintain safe driving so that you won’t get penalized or kill yourself by your actions. You need to maintain your life.
Honestly, it wasn’t supposed to be all about maintaining the “status quo”. It was supposed to be how we have to maintain those things in our life that move life along. Relationships with your friends, your family, co-workers, your boss, your neighbors and everyone else come into play. I think you can see how easy this can get complicated over time and by situations that are different from your own. Just raising kids is complicated enough; imagine having to do it as a single mother.
And now to my point: Healthcare. As I continue to live, I see the medical issues of my family coming more to the foreground. Much of it is due to age and, at times, I get worried about the near future. I worry things will change in a drastic and life-altering way. I don’t want that to happen. I understand the risks and responsibilities of my current situation and I am willing to do whatever is necessary for me to maintain this lifestyle. I am not willing to compromise this just because of some deteriorating situation in which I cannot control.
I am not a control freak and fully understand that there are situations that are totally out of my control. When DubDub calls and says she wants to come over and we end up having sex, this is totally out of my control. This particular situation I don’t mind giving up that control. But other times when I feel like I should have control and I don’t – I don’t like those.
Other times, I want to hand off control to others but those people are unwilling to accept the responsibility I have granted them. I don’t understand those either. I am not giving them a “career limiting” job or anything. I am just trying to do some good and people don’t see it that way.
I just have to accept that my family is aging and there is nothing I can do to reverse this. My parents understand how difficult it was to raise four children who never did hard time or hard drugs. There were marriages and divorces but nothing any of us kids did damaged ourselves irreparably. Of course, parents of disabled or mentally challenged children are exempt because they did not bring their situation on themselves – unless they brought their situation on themselves (by doing drugs or the like).
Look, it’s all about maintaining what you want to maintain. If you don’t have the time or energy to commit to a relationship – then don’t. If you let something go, then it will live without your input. It’s as simple as that. I hear people talking about things they wish they had done… Relationships they should have kept up with.
If it was really important to you, you should keep up the maintenance. If not, you need not wrestle with the idea forever. Keep the parts of your life that will define you and cut out those that do not.