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A highly subjective subject

Have you ever gotten one of those ‘questionnaires’ from a close, personal friend? You know, the ones that ask about your favorite color, whether you prefer Coke or Pepsi, and details about your most embarrassing moment. In certain situations I’m a liberal and in some I’m a conservative. I get to pick-and-choose which situations are which.

I can’t, for the life of me, understand why you would want to know if I’ve ever been in a car accident, gone nude in public or had a sex dream of someone I really didn’t like. Why would you want to know this? Morbid curiosity?

If you were truly my friend, you would probably know these things about me already and there would be no need for you to ask. If you want to know something about me, just ask and I’ll ignore your request later.

I also don’t understand about paparazzi. What would make an average (at best) photographer take a long-lens shot of a movie star having a private moment? Mind your own friggin’ business! What’s worse is that these people are paid millions of dollars for these juicy shots. Why are we paying for something we don’t want?

Another thing: I read a headline that TOTALLY appalled me. It went something like this: “Wine makes mice live longer”. WTF?!?

Why are these scientists wasting time on that when they could be curing cancer, diabetes and heart disease? Again, who is paying to find out the effects of wine on lab rats? I hope that, whoever you are, you’re happy in your 32-room house on the hill wasting money like that!! Ever heard of blindness… deafness? Let’s go after the big ones! Focus, people – focus!

Now that I’m on a roll: Why are shows like “Wife Swap” and “Meet Your New Mommy” still on TV? Is someone – anyone – watching this drivel anymore? C’mon television industry lets have some good old-fashioned scripted shows! Why do I have to tell you this? It’s so obvious!!!

There’s so much waste going on. Mostly people wasting time (I’m guilty of this, I admit). We’re trying to skip by while everyone else is trying to do something important. Or maybe we’re lazy and we don’t want to fill our time with something important.

If you’ve read this far, you know by now that I’m angry right now. I hope to hell I’ve gotten at least THAT across. This time, I’m NOT mad at myself. How could I be? I’m angry at that nameless rabble we affectionately refer to as “them”. Oh, sure… you know what I mean: I heard them say it was okay for me to do this.

I’m angry at society. Why do they always get to decide what happens in my life. Kind of like insurance.

[Oh, no he didn’t]

Is it just me or is insurance the biggest friggin’ scam in THE WORLD!!! In my working life I’ll bet that I’ve paid insurance premiums in the amount of a million dollars. Just for the sake of argument, say I have. You know how much of that insurance money I’ve ever used – none. Not one penny. I’ve never filled out an insurance claim. Have I had ailments that required doctors and having to pay them? Yep, sure have. Did I get reimbursed for my bills? Nope. Why? Because the co-pay was more than what was being charged (in most cases).

I’ve seen other people file for insurance money and they almost treat you like a criminal. “Why are you asking for this money?” they ask. Never mind why I’m asking for MY money just give it to me, bee-otch! It’s a big old scam.

The worst part of it is that doctors are being driven out of practice because their malpractice insurance is too high. Is that the biggest joke you’ve heard in your life? How did we let the cautious little boogers take over?

How did we get so politically correct? When I was growing up the kids weren’t black or white – she was Suzie and he was Lionel. We didn’t care about skin color, we just didn’t see it.

My parents popped me but good sometimes but I haven’t turned out to be a violent person. I mean, I get angry sometimes (who doesn’t) but I can honestly say I’ve never hit a person in anger. Ever!

I guess in a lot of ways I was raised right. I have my vices and I’m not about to run for saint-hood but I feel that I had a foundation while I was growing up that most people did not. I’ve never hung that over anyone’s head and I never would. In fact, I’ve always tried to help those who I felt we underdogs in a given situation. If I had some sort of power that they didn’t – I’d try to help. I can’t say I was always successful but I let them know I was in their corner.

I’d be nice to them and send them e-mail asking what their favorite color is, if they’ve ever comitted a crime and what is their favorite lunch meat.

See what I did there?

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