Personal space is kind of a weird thing – you don’t really notice it until someone encroaches upon it. Here recently I’ve had a couple of people get a little close while standing in line.
So I’m in line the other day when this older black man is standing behind me. I only noticed him because he kept casually bumping into me. I don’t think there was any malice or intent in it, but I had to turn away a couple of times to give him the hint that what he was doing was bothering me. I ended up almost encroaching on someone else in front of me to ‘get away’ from this guy. I moved up quicker than I should have and – darn it – he moved up again. So here I am wedged in between two people I don’t even know.
Then yesterday I was standing in line at a fast food place for lunch. I didn’t really notice the guy behind me until he started breathing on me. You read that right. He was a little taller than me with salt-and-pepper hair and a really big mustache. I’m standing there, minding my own business, when I feel this downdraft of human breath. I turned away and leaned forward to get away from this guy. To his credit, he did the right thing: he sensed my discomfort and he stepped back a little. A few seconds later it was my turn with the cashier. As I walked away with my order is when I got a really good look at him. I think he was drunk.
Is that wrong of me? I believe in personal space between strangers. There is a different level of space when you know the person and are more comfortable with them. It’s acceptable to stand close to your spouse or a very close friend or family member. We’d like to stand closer to an attractive stranger but we mustn’t. If I can turn 180 degrees with my elbows at shoulder height and touch some part of you – we are standing too close.
Of course, if you smell bad then it’s 180 degrees with both my arms and YOUR arms extended… no closer.
So I’m in line the other day when this older black man is standing behind me. I only noticed him because he kept casually bumping into me. I don’t think there was any malice or intent in it, but I had to turn away a couple of times to give him the hint that what he was doing was bothering me. I ended up almost encroaching on someone else in front of me to ‘get away’ from this guy. I moved up quicker than I should have and – darn it – he moved up again. So here I am wedged in between two people I don’t even know.
Then yesterday I was standing in line at a fast food place for lunch. I didn’t really notice the guy behind me until he started breathing on me. You read that right. He was a little taller than me with salt-and-pepper hair and a really big mustache. I’m standing there, minding my own business, when I feel this downdraft of human breath. I turned away and leaned forward to get away from this guy. To his credit, he did the right thing: he sensed my discomfort and he stepped back a little. A few seconds later it was my turn with the cashier. As I walked away with my order is when I got a really good look at him. I think he was drunk.
Is that wrong of me? I believe in personal space between strangers. There is a different level of space when you know the person and are more comfortable with them. It’s acceptable to stand close to your spouse or a very close friend or family member. We’d like to stand closer to an attractive stranger but we mustn’t. If I can turn 180 degrees with my elbows at shoulder height and touch some part of you – we are standing too close.
Of course, if you smell bad then it’s 180 degrees with both my arms and YOUR arms extended… no closer.