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Beth

You know, I feel sorry for Beth. She’s dating (or married to) a HUGE ass. For purposes of this story, I’m going to assume she’s dating “JJ”.

I’m sitting in this restaurant, staring out the window, minding my own business when I see this couple drive up and get out of their car. The guy looks like your typical ‘yay-hoo’ (as my dad used to say). He’s wearing the oversized, baggy shorts with the white sneakers and the a-frame t-shirt (known as a “wife-beater”). He’s got the trucker hat that is slightly askew on his head.

Beth is very pretty (you’ll understand how I know both their names shortly). She’s wearing a very nice short skirt and chic top. She’s young and, if I had to guess, would say she works at a clothing store at the local mall. She has long, dark, perfectly manicured hair. When she gets out of the car, she is talking on the cell phone.

When JJ gets out of the car, it’s like he’s a clown at the circus. He dances around wildly and is flailing his arms like he’s on fire. Beth is perfectly calm and walking toward the restaurant with the phone on her ear.

I think I’ve set the scene pretty well.

They walk in and the ‘fun’ begins. First of all, this is a family place where kids are playing. JJ is spewing the F-word more than most people are breathing. If this were some techno club downtown, it would be fine, but there are children and elderly around who don’t need to hear that mess.

Beth: “Calm down, JJ”
JJ: “Shut the F-up, bee-otch. Order me some F’n food!” (I cleaned that up a little)
Beth: “You’re so loud”
JJ: “So what, bitch! I own this M-F’n place. Order me a F’n sandwich, I gotta piss!”

(Beth is still talking on the phone and conversation EVERYWHERE in the restaurant has come to a complete stop)

JJ (from the restroom): “WWWWHHHHHHHOOOOOOOO. THAT FELT GGGGGOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDD!!!!!!”

(he walks out with his zipper undone [I heard, I didn’t see it])

JJ (who has come back into the main dining area): “GOT DAMN, that was good…” (looking at Beth) “You order my F’n food yet, bitch?”

Beth (who has ended her phone conversation): “Keep it down, JJ”

JJ (looking around): “Why, they AIN’T NOBODY IN HERE!!!!”

(I look around to see a guy in the back corner, a mother with her small daughter, a man my age with his young sons, and a grand-motherly type woman near the window – and me).

Man with sons: “Get your stuff, boys, we’re going”. (he gets up and quickly leaves with grand-motherly woman who was related to him).

Basically, JJ continues to be loud and obnoxious to this very attractive woman while they’re ordering food. They sit down at a table that’s behind me and to my left. JJ scrapes the chair back from the table and sits down. He rattles the other chair loudly. When Beth tries to set the tray of food down (that SHE carried AND paid for), JJ rocks the table back and forth. I could see from the reflection in the glass that she almost spilled the drinks. “Stop it!” she says loudly.

JJ laughs this loud, raspy laugh. The kind of laugh that, when you hear it, makes your skin crawl. After a couple of his laughs I felt like I needed a shower.

“You’re being a jerk!” she says loudly. ‘Uh-oh’, I’m thinking to myself. There is a silent pause and he kicks the chair out from her side of the table. It falls over backwards with a loud crash. “OW, JJ, THAT HIT MY LEG!!” she screams.

“You can F’n stand while you eat, F’n bitch” he says quietly.

“God I hate you!” she says.

“That ain’t what you said last night when I was f’n you and you were [performing oral sex on me]. Heh, heh…”

Beth picked up the chair and pulled it up to the corner of the table. I was done eating so I gathered my trash and left. The place was stone quiet while I was leaving.

I don’t know why she’s staying with THAT. I’m sure she has her reasons – they are reasons I will never understand.

I feel sorry for Beth.

p.s. – In case you’re wondering, neither of these individuals were of african-american heritage.

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