Skip to main content

Pedophile's Dream

First, let me catch you up on happenings. I finally got my new air conditioning installed and up and running (well, I didn’t, but you know what I mean…)

I came home on a Friday to find my house on the cold side. “Okay” I thought to myself “maybe I’m just not used to it and the temperature will even out”. A 3am, when I couldn’t turn off the air at the thermostat, I had to kill the new system at the electric panel. It was SO cold. The thermostat said it was 60 degrees on it’s way to 67. HA! If it was anything it was 40 degrees in my house. I could almost see my breath.

So I called the company that installed it and they sent a technician. He was at my house for 3 hours. The thermostat that was installed was so new he didn’t know how to work it correctly. He ended up installing one that he knew would work – and it did before he left. He said that someone would be out on Monday to fix the real one.

So, thankfully, they were out on Monday and the problem has been resolved. My house is now a comfortable 74 degrees with 50 percent humidity. Works for me. Certainly better than 96 degrees with 102 percent humidity.

That’s right – I said 102 percent. The water droplets had water droplets.

So I get home from work and there’s a car parked out front. It’s not a car I recognize nor does it appear to be one of the neighbor’s. At this point I’ll tell you I don’t have a problem with cars being parked out front as long as they don’t block my driveway.

There’s somebody sitting in the front seat so I get a quick look at him in case the Police ask, “What did he look like?”

As I’m getting settled in the house over the next half hour to 45 minutes I notice several more cars parking out front. As you recall there’s a school in the lot across from my house.

What appears to be happening is that a girl’s volleyball team has come for practice. Like I said, a pedophile’s dream. These girls are 14 to 15 years old, wearing shorts and tank tops, jumping up and down.

I don’t know why, but I always have this fear that someone is going to find out that I’m a single, unattached man living in a school zone. “Is this man a pervert or something?” I don’t have a good explanation – especially if they find the porn on my computer (no kiddee porn, I swear).

I also worry about having some medical ‘issue’ while I’m here by myself. If something happened on a Friday, it would probably be Tuesday before anyone became suspicious. I’d probably be dead by then.

Whenever you see the ‘neighbor’ being interviewed on TV about the serial killer living right next door, they basically describe me: “Oh, yea… he was real quiet, kept to himself, didn’t have many visitors and kept strange hours”.

See? These are things I think about.

Popular posts from this blog

Top 10 Cartoon Duo's

This time out the subject is Top 10 Cartoon Duo’s. I was only going to make this a Top 5 list but I had so many entries to work with, I added the last 5. Here’s the list is no particular order – wait, that’s not right… 10. Ren & Stimpy: Call this entry the ‘Odd Couple’ of the group. A cat and a dog (I think) living together and making their way despite their obvious instincts to be sworn enemies. I have to admit that this cartoon was hard to watch sometimes because of the ‘gross’ nature of both characters – pooping and boogers a big part of the vernacular. “Oh, Re-e-e-n?”, “Yes, Stimpy!” 9. Inspector Gadget & Penny: An uncle and his niece go around solving crimes against Dr. Claw. It was actually Gadget and his dog, Brain, that tried to solve the crimes and Penny that actually solved them. She would tell Brain the solution and that crazy dog would expend a great deal of energy trying to make the Inspector understand the solution. Finally, when Inspector Gadget would ‘stumble...

High Kings vs. Celtic Thunder

I had the rare chance to compare Irish music this weekend. I caught performances by both “The High Kings” and “Celtic Thunder”. First up was HK: The show was filmed in front of an audience somewhere in Ireland. The set appeared to be a simple wooden stage that was reminiscent of a boat dock – simple and effective. There were drums on the left and a small supporting band on the right. While they played, a large video wall displayed images behind them – mostly water – setting the mood for the song they were singing at the time. The vocalists were excellent. You could tell they were really Irish by their brogues, which were honest and uncluttered. The harmonies were good and you could tell they were really singing. In the beginning of the show they made it clear that everyone should know all the words to the songs they were singing and the audience was asked to “sing up”. They started with a rousing version of “The Rocky Road To Dublin” which drew everyone in and they never let the audien...

Women who disappoint

Looking back over this long weekend, I have found that there are some women in my life who have disappointed me recently: - My mother: Well, it always starts at the top, doesn't it? My mother almost single-handedly soured Thanksgiving for me this year. She has always been the type of mother who says 'out of the kitchen while I'm cooking!'... so for years we've left her alone while she prepares the meal. Mind you, we bring a lot of the materials and she just heats them up or preps them. Anyhow, this year after everything was ready to go and she was about to announce this, she comes out with: "I'm not doing this anymore. This is my last year of it. I'm almost 70 years old and I'm tired of doing it". There is a dramatic pause while this sinks in before we start pointing the finger at my oldest brother and his wife taking over the duties. I'm not sure what anyone else made of it but I felt a little blindsided. A little bit later, after the foo...