How I stopped worrying and learned to love myself

Tonight I was given my instructions. I have my marching orders and I intend to follow them -- as soon as I figure out what they mean. I was told, by my good friend Superman, what I was to do. Are you ready for this? I am to obey the following command: "You must win a victory for humanity".

Wow, that's a tall order... or a short order -- I don't know. I'm still trying to find out what it means. I asked for examples but was given none. I tried to ask questions but there were just no answers to be had. It's one of those "Art of War" statements, right? The master speaks and then I have to figure out what the hell he means?

I did a quick bit of research just now on the phrase (as quoted by Horace Mann). Seems to me it's about making the right choices for the right reasons. There are also larger questions that are tackled, mostly having to do with curing cancer or overcoming such overwhelming odds for which I'm not equipped.

If I apply this larger-than-life theory to my own little corner of the world, then I believe it to mean "cut the crap and enjoy your life". There was a rather lengthy conversation I had with Superman but the gist of it was "don't worry so much about finding a woman. Make yourself happy and that will bring success and confidence. Once you have achieved those building blocks then people of the feminine persuasion will arrive".

"When the student is ready, the teacher will appear". It's like in that movie "City Slickers" when Curly tells Mitch that the answer to life is "One Thing". What is that 'one thing'? You have to figure it out on your own because it's different for each of us. So, I supposed I need to find a higher purpose in my existence. I need to win one for humanity.

Top 10 Cartoon Duo's

This time out the subject is Top 10 Cartoon Duo’s. I was only going to make this a Top 5 list but I had so many entries to work with, I added the last 5. Here’s the list is no particular order – wait, that’s not right… 10. Ren & Stimpy: Call this entry the ‘Odd Couple’ of the group. A cat and a dog (I think) living together and making their way despite their obvious instincts to be sworn enemies. I have to admit that this cartoon was hard to watch sometimes because of the ‘gross’ nature of both characters – pooping and boogers a big part of the vernacular. “Oh, Re-e-e-n?”, “Yes, Stimpy!” 9. Inspector Gadget & Penny: An uncle and his niece go around solving crimes against Dr. Claw. It was actually Gadget and his dog, Brain, that tried to solve the crimes and Penny that actually solved them. She would tell Brain the solution and that crazy dog would expend a great deal of energy trying to make the Inspector understand the solution. Finally, when Inspector Gadget would ‘stumble...

Women who disappoint

Looking back over this long weekend, I have found that there are some women in my life who have disappointed me recently: - My mother: Well, it always starts at the top, doesn't it? My mother almost single-handedly soured Thanksgiving for me this year. She has always been the type of mother who says 'out of the kitchen while I'm cooking!'... so for years we've left her alone while she prepares the meal. Mind you, we bring a lot of the materials and she just heats them up or preps them. Anyhow, this year after everything was ready to go and she was about to announce this, she comes out with: "I'm not doing this anymore. This is my last year of it. I'm almost 70 years old and I'm tired of doing it". There is a dramatic pause while this sinks in before we start pointing the finger at my oldest brother and his wife taking over the duties. I'm not sure what anyone else made of it but I felt a little blindsided. A little bit later, after the foo...

Work

Over the past couple of days I helped former co-workers gain remote access to their respective offices. I was upset with them for asking. Not because it put me out or was very difficult but the fact that they were trying to be able to work from home. And they were both very happy about this. Why? The reasons I was given were: “I can work undisturbed”, “I can smoke while I’m working”, “I can work in my pajamas and be comfortable”, etc. The ‘working undisturbed’ is about the only one I can rationalize. It seems to me that you go home to get away from work. I haven’t always adhered to this philosophy so I hope I don’t come off as a hypocrite. In my position(s), I have always needed remote access to the office but I never really wanted it. I recall many years ago having a conversation that went something like this: Them: “Hey, can I borrow the company laptop?” Me: “Sure. What for?” Them: “I’m going on vacation and I want to be able to do my work” Excuse me… what?! That makes NO sense whats...

Down On Ferry Farm

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