How I stopped worrying and learned to love myself

Tonight I was given my instructions. I have my marching orders and I intend to follow them -- as soon as I figure out what they mean. I was told, by my good friend Superman, what I was to do. Are you ready for this? I am to obey the following command: "You must win a victory for humanity".

Wow, that's a tall order... or a short order -- I don't know. I'm still trying to find out what it means. I asked for examples but was given none. I tried to ask questions but there were just no answers to be had. It's one of those "Art of War" statements, right? The master speaks and then I have to figure out what the hell he means?

I did a quick bit of research just now on the phrase (as quoted by Horace Mann). Seems to me it's about making the right choices for the right reasons. There are also larger questions that are tackled, mostly having to do with curing cancer or overcoming such overwhelming odds for which I'm not equipped.

If I apply this larger-than-life theory to my own little corner of the world, then I believe it to mean "cut the crap and enjoy your life". There was a rather lengthy conversation I had with Superman but the gist of it was "don't worry so much about finding a woman. Make yourself happy and that will bring success and confidence. Once you have achieved those building blocks then people of the feminine persuasion will arrive".

"When the student is ready, the teacher will appear". It's like in that movie "City Slickers" when Curly tells Mitch that the answer to life is "One Thing". What is that 'one thing'? You have to figure it out on your own because it's different for each of us. So, I supposed I need to find a higher purpose in my existence. I need to win one for humanity.

Top 10 Cartoon Duo's

This time out the subject is Top 10 Cartoon Duo’s. I was only going to make this a Top 5 list but I had so many entries to work with, I added the last 5. Here’s the list is no particular order – wait, that’s not right… 10. Ren & Stimpy: Call this entry the ‘Odd Couple’ of the group. A cat and a dog (I think) living together and making their way despite their obvious instincts to be sworn enemies. I have to admit that this cartoon was hard to watch sometimes because of the ‘gross’ nature of both characters – pooping and boogers a big part of the vernacular. “Oh, Re-e-e-n?”, “Yes, Stimpy!” 9. Inspector Gadget & Penny: An uncle and his niece go around solving crimes against Dr. Claw. It was actually Gadget and his dog, Brain, that tried to solve the crimes and Penny that actually solved them. She would tell Brain the solution and that crazy dog would expend a great deal of energy trying to make the Inspector understand the solution. Finally, when Inspector Gadget would ‘stumble...

Lunch with a side of awkward

Last week I was sitting in my office wondering what to eat for lunch since I didn’t bring anything to eat. I happened to be in our break room and saw a collection of restaurant menus and began thumbing through them for suggestions. I came across a place that I had heard of but had never been to, so I decided to go there – mostly because of how close it was to the office. I walked in and looked around. The place was empty. There was a table of 4 ladies in the corner who looked like your basic bridge-playing women. Sitting in the booth next to them was another couple that looked like they were wrapping things up in order to leave. Finally a server appeared and seated me at a table across the aisle from the foursome. By then, the other couple had left. As I looked around, I noticed a lot of the place was made of or covered in wood. It’s the kind of a place you might find overlooking a body of water, but all that was outside this place was a parking lot. The server was tall, thin, dark hai...

Left Undone

Currently, there’s a meme traveling around Facebook entitled “25 Random Things About Me” where you list 25 things about yourself and send it to 25 friends. Then they send theirs to 25 friends (including you) and so on. I don’t plan on doing this myself because everything about me is random. Instead, I plan to explore 10 things about my life that I’ve never done. This is not to say I will never accomplish these things but, as yet, I have not done these things in my life to this point. I admit some of these are unbelievable – the fact that I haven’t done them but, to the best of my ability, are true. So, to this point I have never: Ridden in the back of a stretch limo – I have been to several weddings and funerals where one of these vehicles was present. I have looked in the back of a stretch limo but never ridden back there. At a party one time a limo was ordered and I thought to myself “this could be it” but it was basically a modified Lincoln Towne Car and would definitely not qualif...

Down On Ferry Farm

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