Down On Ferry Farm

Look, I write these things for myself... because *I* think they're interesting not to entertain you. What do you think I am, some kind of entertainment for you? Ha! Glad I got that off my chest. Went out to lunch with DubDub today. It was oh-so-nice. We had really good food at a local Italian eatery but it was on the expensive side. It was good but expensive. To recap: good but expensive. I had her show up at the office so that she and L-girl could finally meet. L-girl told me later that she was 'shocked' to finally meet her -- I didn't tell her that DubDub was coming. L-girl said she was a 'pretty lady', which sounded kind of funny coming from her. L-girl is convinced that her male supervisor is gay. He brought in his laptop to the office so he could copy some MP3 files for her. She was looking through the list of files when she noticed videos with names that had 'gay black' and 'gay thug' in the title. While he had stepped away, she 'accide

... said she couldn't go on the American Way (just kidding...) I happened to be standing up by reception when CD came walking through the door. She works for the company that takes care of our copiers. While she's not our rep, our rep mentioned she was coming to see us so CD tagged along. I hate to say it but she looks really good. She had just gotten a haircut, looked like she dropped about 30 pounds and -- big shocker -- she was married. At one point I looked at her as if to say 'are we okay?' and she gave me a look that say 'yes, we're fine'. It's not really her fault why we parted company, she just reminded me too much of someone else. Is it possible that if we had stayed together that we'd be married? It boggles the mind. We basically went out 3 or 4 times and had sex twice. This was RIGHT after DubDub and I split which really helped in the "torment the ex-girlfriend" category... that I was seeing someone and she wasn't. CD and I h

I once rode "The Loch Ness Monster", which is a roller coaster in a near-by amusement park... a theme park, if you will. It starts you off with a long climb to the top of a hill and then drops you down the other side. There are loops, twists, dark tunnels and you're even upside down twice during the ride. I sat strapped in a plastic molded chair and rode that coaster. After I was done, I went to this area just under 'the big drop' and watched the other roller coaster cars go by. Before I had ridden it, I would take a few steps back and partly turn away when they went flying by, riders screaming. Now that I had tamed the beast, I was impervious to its growl. I had ridden that roller coaster and now I was unafraid. It's like anything we try... we're a little bit fearful of it before we try and much more confident after. It's like the first time you go swimming or have sex or steal a car -- wait -- scratch that last one. What are we really afraid of? I

I went to a high-brow rave over the weekend. As you recall, A-girl is leaving the company... well, we had a little going away party for her. We went to this club that was just like you see on TV. It was a really nice restored theater with a (surprisingly) small dance floor. It had the lights and disco ball -- the whole deal. The women we were with seemed to want to buy drinks at the bar and take smoke breaks than dance. It's called a 'dance club' -- we need to hoof! The only saving grace was that they had 'dancers' on a stage struttin' their stuff. Picture something like "The Pussycat Dolls". Made the $10 cover charge almost worthwhile. I mean, the scenery was nice, don't get me wrong, but for that amount of money we should be dancin' (yeah). Let's see... that was Saturday night, what else is happening. I got woken up this morning by my cell phone going off. I hopped out of bed and ran to the phone. "My goodness", I'm thinking

We had our annual company Christmas party this evening. I'm just back and wanted to jot some thoughts while they're still fresh in my mind. First thought: it's really nice to see pretty ladies in nice clothes -- drunk. Second thought: it's occasions like these that I think to myself 'I'd miss these people if I ever left...' Third thought: It's not fair that L-girl has to date such a darn nice guy. She poked me a couple of times, trying to egg me on, and I told her that wasn't fair. Fourth thought: it's very interesting to see the husbands and wives that these people I work with go home to every night. (okay, so sentence structure is clunky -- give me a break). Fifth thought: Christmas bonuses are nice to get! Woo-hoo! I just hate waiting so long for them. Sixth thought: I'm not sure why the Christmas bonus only rated 5th spot. It was raining its ass off tonight when we met at the restaurant. Well, bar and restaurant. It was a bar on one side

You know, I used to like the song "Rocket Man" by Elton John -- until I found out what he was really talking about. I'm sure I don't know what all the hidden allusions are, but I never thought about the big one staring in my face. God, I feel so stupid. Do you know? Let me explain: It's really all about Elton John (real name Reginald Dwight) realizing that he's gay. "I'm not the man they think I am at all". Let's take this step by step... "She packed my bags last night, pre-flight": I'm thinking this could be a fluffer. "Zero hour, 9am": could be anything, really. "And I'm gonna be high as a kite right then": sounds drug-related. "I miss the Earth so much, I miss my wife": could be a line written to throw one off the trail. "It's lonely out in space": well, yeah... "On such a timeless flight": okay, whatever. "and I think it's gonna be a long, long time 'til

Well, my recent drought in adding to my blog is over. It's not my fault -- really. A couple of times it was down for 'scheduled maintenance' and last night it was so incredibly slow that I couldn't even add anything. Well, here I am now so let me go on... December 7th: A day that will live in infamy. I didn't even realize until I heard someone mention it on the news. Weird. December 8th: It's been 25 years since John Lennon was shot? Holy crap! What have I been doing? I feel so old! Oh, Christmas is coming and the geese are getting fat -- and so I am. I must have put on about 10 pounds in 'winter weight'. Happens every year... someone walks around with candy they've gotten as an early gift. "Would you like some chocolate?" Who am I to say no? Today it was a Philly Cheese Steak -- straight from Philadelphia. Quick-frozen and delivered via FedEx. The other day it was pistachio's. What's next, brownies? "You want a brownie?"

Following is a list of women in the public eye who, I think, don't get enough notice about their beauty. 8. Molly Shannon Best-known work: “Saturday Night Live”, “A Night at the Roxbury” Why I like her: She’s not afraid – comedically. At SNL she let everyone see her underwear as Mary Katherine Gallagher. There’s a lot going on behind her dark hair and all of it is intended to make you laugh. Interesting fact: When she was 4, was in a car accident that killed her mother. Best feature: Her sense of humor 7. Soledad O’Brien Best-known work: “The Site”, “MSNBC Morning Blend”, “American Morning” Why I like her: I remember watching the events of a tragedy (don’t remember which one). She confidently introduced ‘someone on the phone’ who had pertinent information about the subject at hand. The caller announced that Howard Stern wanted to sleep with her and she dismissed the caller without breaking stride. Interesting fact: Her birthday is 3 days after mine… same year! Best feature

Looking back over this long weekend, I have found that there are some women in my life who have disappointed me recently: - My mother: Well, it always starts at the top, doesn't it? My mother almost single-handedly soured Thanksgiving for me this year. She has always been the type of mother who says 'out of the kitchen while I'm cooking!'... so for years we've left her alone while she prepares the meal. Mind you, we bring a lot of the materials and she just heats them up or preps them. Anyhow, this year after everything was ready to go and she was about to announce this, she comes out with: "I'm not doing this anymore. This is my last year of it. I'm almost 70 years old and I'm tired of doing it". There is a dramatic pause while this sinks in before we start pointing the finger at my oldest brother and his wife taking over the duties. I'm not sure what anyone else made of it but I felt a little blindsided. A little bit later, after the foo

The other day I posed a question which, at best, was misguided. It went something like this "if a higher percentage of the population were blind, would having sight be considered a handicap?". The answer to this question is fairly obvious. The problem is that I asked the wrong question. The right question had more to do with prejudice and the inequities that we face when we're in the minority of a given population. For instance, I'm left-handed. Approximately 30% of the general population is left-handed which puts me in that particular minority. Do I feel a sense of prejudice towards left-handed people. Quite frankly, yes. There are statistics that talk about lefties being in more accidents (not just 'car', mind you) like household accidents. Well, you would be too if your house was build for right-handers. Sounds dumb, but it's true. Anyhow, this is just an example of what I'm talking about. For whatever reason I got to thinking about the short end of

This past week I learned that A-girl is leaving the company. In fact, she's leaving the area and the state. She's going to live with her love-interest in Kansas. Kansas?!? When I asked some of the women in the office about it, the basic thought was that they wouldn't move to another state for a guy unless there was a wedding ring already on their finger. I guess we all have to live our own lives... my feeling is that she has wanted to leave the area for some time now and this just provides a convenient opportunity. Trying to clean the house because it's a mess but I wanted to jot that down. Maybe I'll write more later.

My friend Superman likes lists, so here's one of mine. I call it "Things That Will Probably Not Happen To Me -- Ever". It goes something like this: 10. Family Breakfast: I always wanted that Norman Rockwell breakfast with my own family. The Dad (me) stands there in his clean white shirt and dark striped tie, drinking orange juice. I sit down at the head of the table and ask the kids what will happen that day. They sit there eating their breakfast cereal while the baby throws Cheerios on the floor. My oldest daughter, Katie, is hurrying to finish her homework while her brother's model of a volcano sits on the counter. I rush out the door (kiss my wife goodbye, of course) and drive to work in my generic sedan. Sunday morning we read the newspaper together while the kids jump on the end of the bed. The cat keeps walking over everything, trying to get our attention and the baby's diaper needs changing. 9. Movie of my life: I don't know what the plot would be but

I was having a problem with my local channels recently so I called the cable company. You see, I still have regular old analog cable. I really have not seen a need to upgrade to digital cable. I can't tell you how many people that have it say "there's nothing on. I have 261 channels and I can't find anything to watch". Plus the quality of the programming is not good lately. But I digress... I call the cable company to have a technician come out. "He'll be there between 4:00 and 6:00 pm". Okay, fine. I take off a little early from work so that I can be there in case he shows up (or else *I'M* charged -- don't get me started...) Yep, you guessed it: the guy shows up at 5:57 on the nose. I think he correctly diagnosed the problem -- old wiring -- but didn't fix it. He asked if he could return during daylight hours and replace the wiring that leads to the house. I'm thinking "if you had shown up at 4:00 like I did, the sun was shinin

Last night L-girl and I went out to dinner. We ate, talked, and laughed... a good time was had by all. She ordered something that tasted nasty, so we sent it back and ordered her some spaghetti. I ate the leftovers for lunch today. Nothing much else to report on that, I'm afraid. Tonight, I was helping my brother with a charity event that happens every year at his church. This is the second time I've been there in as many weeks. Anyhow, they do a 'silent auction' and a 'live auction' and I help data-entering the information into this database that my dad wrote. Still with me? So people are coming up, we type in their information and then print something like an invoice for them they shows everything they bid on and won. Where am I going with this? This woman walks up and she is totally and completely HOT! Extra hot with hot sauce and a hot dessert... I'm not kidding you. I asked for her ID number and then verified her last name -- Klein. I did the 'check

In doing some reflection on my life, it seems to me that I'm always on the cusp of something bigger. Everyone knows that a 'near miss' is actually a 'hit', I guess I'd be a 'near hit'. I'm always somewhere on the periphery (is that spelled right). Just outside of normal vision. For some reason, I think about all the weddings to which I 'almost' got invited. I wasn't quite 'there' in terms of getting an invitation so I had to hear about it second-hand. I could make the same case with women, but that's not my focus -- this time. When I was in high school I did some theater... never playing the lead, always filed under 'chorus', 'extra' or part of an ensemble. Never really in the spotlight, never a solo -- generally a 'supporting cast' kind of guy. In my junior and senior years I tended to lean toward the technical side of the theater. You know, behind the scenes. Even later in life I was never considered

I woke up this morning, much like every other Saturday morning, not knowing what the day would bring. Little did I know what it held in store for me. I ate some breakfast, watched some T.V., and tried to shake off sleep (I hate taking naps). Took a shower and went shopping for a new desk chair for work. Purchased said chair and drove to the office. My co-workers were there decorating for Halloween so I ended up helping them. We're doing a "sports" theme this year -- I'm dressing as a basketball player. After they all left, I put together my new desk chair. I also had to replace a monitor on one of the other computers in the office. Next, I had to find a 'warm up' suit ... the kind that you see basketball players wear just before the game starts. Couldn't find one in the "Laker's" colors so I bought a generic blue one. It fits me just fine. When I got home, I had some mail and a small package. I knew what it was immediately. I don't know i

On Monday I put my car in the shop. I needed some new tires, a tune-up and the like. I inquired about a 'loaner' car which they operate with a well-known rental car agency. As I was sitting in the lobby of the service center, waiting for the rental car company, I was thinking "gee, I wonder if this little hottie is going to pick me up to take me to the rental place?". Just as soon as that little cartoon-balloon dissipated, a minivan pulls up and this little hottie strolls in. She's about the right size and shape, shoulder length curly hair... pretty nice. She drives me to the rental place. Small talk all the way. Here's my problem: I don't have the 'tools' within me to know whether she's trying to glean information just so the short ride is not so awkward or if she's really interested in me. The questions are really broad so I'm thinking she's just trying to pass time. But she keeps asking questions and the ride is not that awkward.

Once a quarter, the church that my brother attends has a fund-raising spaghetti dinner. It's $5 for all the spaghetti, garlic bread, salad and wine you can stuff in your face -- dessert is extra. In the grand scheme of things, it's not the best spaghetti I've ever had in my life, but for $5 dollars, all you can eat, it does just fine. I see it as a general social situation. My hope is that there will be some hot, single woman there. Well, there's good news and bad news in that area. The good news is that there are some hot women there. The bad news is that they're either too young or married. Okay, so let's say I hit the jackpot and find someone at one of these dinners. What if she's a total religious freak? Isn't it a bit of false advertising to be at a church social function and not expect that the woman would turn out to be religious. If she sees me there, she's bound to think that I'm religious -- which I'm not. "I'm just here fo

I got my hair cut about a week ago (maybe more). When I drove by the lake this morning, it was very glassy. Work continues to be busy and wears on me... I vowed not to talk about work in this forum but I was allowed to talk about the people at work... or maybe the situations. It's quiet sometimes. This is one of those times. I don't want to start tomorrow until I'm finished with today. I've always believed that "door-hinge" (a hyphenated word) is the only word in the English language that rhymed with orange. Maybe it's just me and maybe that's just a technicality. L-girl finally put her hair back normal. I think it looks better this way. She was wearing it long, a la Jennifer Aniston of "Friends", with the ends of it turning in just at the shoulders. Total stream-of-conscience stuff here. I haven't written in a while so I figured I'd just pour out what's in my head. I've been saving up stuff, apparently. Here's a true stor

SFX: Phone ringing (as if listener is making the call) Woman: Thank you for calling Kmart. How may I direct your call? Me: I'd like to talk to the manager. Woman: Hold please. SFX: 'On Hold' music plays. Manager: This is Melissa. How can I help you? Me: Hi. Are you the manager of this store? Manager: Yes. Can I ask what this is about? Me: It's about false advertising. Manager: I'm sorry, I -- Me: I was in your store earlier this evening. I walked down several aisles... Manager: I still don't see -- Me: There were only 4 women I saw. Manager: I'm sorry, sir. Can you tell me what this is regarding? Me: Yes. Your new tag line "I found love in a Kmart store". Manager (almost sarcastically): Oh, I see... Me: I went up and down almost every aisle in that store and I did not find love. (long pause, no response) Manager: (sighs) Me: I mean, it's on the flyers you send to people's homes. I have one in my hand right now. Manager: I don't think th

Meet the neighbor: I was mowing my lawn last week and I finally met my neighbor. I am not one of those people who is socially graceful so I wasn't really looking forward to it. I almost got the feeling he was not looking forward to it but wanted to get it over with. He could plainly see that I was almost done with my lawn when he wandered out into his back yard and started puttering around. We shook hands and spoke for a few minutes. When the elderly couple next door moved out, I always got the feeling they were not to happy about it. I imagined that something bad had happened and therefore they needed to move out. In talking with my neighbor, the old man wanted to move to Florida so he could play golf more (what, they don't have golf around here?). He (my new neighbor) seemed like a nice enough person. He asked me if I'd had any problems with crime because someone broke into his car. I mentioned that we rarely see any police action in the neighborhood. But just as I'm

I am very frustrated. Physically, emotionally and sexually. I've had a very tough couple of weeks at work. I haven't been sleeping well. My back is killing me so I'm taking some pills for that. I'm falling apart at the seams. So I settle in at home and they call me from work. I try and relax and I can feel their hands reach out to pull me back in. How is this considered weak? The phone rings. It's DubDub and she's in a good mood, which puts me in a good mood. She goes to work at some ungodly hour of the morning, yet she staves off sleep to talk to me. I find some bit of comfort in that. We talk and it's easy... it almost always was. She has it in her mind that she can call me at any time and that I'll be there for her. I haven't done anything to dissuade that mind-set. I wish things could have stayed like they were. Not the 'blow off' years, but the early times when it was all happiness and laughter. When the sex was good and there was plenty

I was driving home from Superman's place last night. I'm traveling down the freeway, minding my own business, and out of nowhere a car runs me off the road. I'm in the right-hand lane when this small silver car runs into my lane without so much as a by-your-leave. I slammed on my brakes and blasted my horn but ended up on the shoulder of the road. Now what you should understand is that there was no reason for him to do this. He didn't have anyone in front of him nor did I have anyone in front of me. There were some other cars behind and to the left of him. I really have no good reason as to why he almost took off my front left quarter panel. If I hadn't jammed on my brakes and turned quickly, he would have definitely hit me. So I was sitting there on the shoulder of the freeway, cursing the day that driver was ever born, as he took off and blended with traffic ahead. As I drove off, I was amazingly unshaken. I thought I'd be shaking or agitated... nothing. I was

I should be asleep right now, but I'm not. I had some iced tea too late tonight and now I'm wired for sound. I tried going to sleep earlier, but that didn't work. I tried watching some football. That didn't work. Let me vent a little: What happened to 'neighborhood kids'? I used to be one so I think I can comment on this. Whenever a car came down the road -- no matter what we were doing -- we got out of the way. We'd yell "Car!" to everyone within earshot and everyone would immediately dart for the curb on one side of the road or another. I drive through my neighborhood (typical suburbia) and these kids look at me like I've got eight heads. I had a kid dart in front of me on a skateboard and I almost hit him. If I had, his parents would be all over my ass for money. You can't tell parents to "watch your brat a little closer, dumbass!" because they tend to take offense to that. Another time, I'm heading to my house and I had to

You know, I should probably be in bed right now... but I'm not. Recently, I learned a new route to work. Whereas my previous route was more of a straight shot, this way is a lot more stop-and-go. It's also through a neighborhood which means I can't drive as fast. So why am I taking this new route? For one thing, it's just as fast -- if not faster. I had come home this route a couple times before, once I knew it existed. One morning, I decided to try going to work this way. My only question was that the last street I found myself on exited in the direction I wasn't going. I found a side street that got me where I needed to be. For another thing, it's more scenic. I pass through a wooded neighborhood with kids walking to school and ducks that cross the road. I then pass a lake and a large grass-covered mountain. Really cool in the morning with the fog over the lake and the dew on the grass. Finally, it's less stressful. The serene surroundings seem to subside

So I'm laying in bed this morning and I hear some noise. It sounds like a bird chirping. I nuzzle my head in to my pillow and try and ignore it. I hear it again, this time louder. What the heck is that? A cricket? It sounds like it's right in the room with me. Well, it turns out it was a mouse caught in one of my traps. I don't like mice being in my house. I don't like dealing with them. I tried to wait until he died and then I'd take him out to the trash but that didn't work. I ended up having to take him out to the trash can while he squirmed all over the glue trap. Not one of the more glamorous aspects of being a homeowner. Maybe I need to get a cat. I'm feeling a little better today. I took a shower late yesterday and I felt like I could breathe again. I didn't take any medicine before bed because I think I was over-medicated in the first place. It feels like I still have Actifed running through my veins today... no wonder I was so miserable on Frida

I think that pretty much sums it up. I really don't like being sick. I don't like that feeling of being weak or vulnerable. I don't want people walking up to me, saying "can I get you some tea?" or some crap like that. I'm not so weak that I can't get it myself. I'm also not the kind of person who takes a lot of pills -- except when I'm sick. I pop pills, I'll drink weird fluids... anything that will help get me over my sickness faster. I really dislike the drain on my energy. I like being able to do what I want to do when I want to do it. I don't like sitting at home, catatonic, watching Dr. Phil and Regis & Kelly. What kind of crap is that? It really does NOT work for me when I'm hungry and I don't feel like eating. On an average day, I'd rather drink something than eat. I'm usually more thirsty than hungry. If I could get all my nutrition from drinking, I'd probably do that. I'm not talking about those thick s

I went to see the movie "The 40 Year Old Virgin" tonight. Superman had his store closed so I had nowhere to go. The movie has some very funny moments, and some that hit a little close to home. First of all, I'm sitting in the theater about 5 minutes before the show is supposed to start (really the previews, but you know what I mean). I'm looking around thinking "there are, like, no seats left". I look over at the door -- they're still coming in. Okay, finally it slows down and the crowd stops... wait! Look! There are more people coming in. I couldn't believe it. I don't know where they all sat but we all fit in there. I love amphitheater-style seating. Anyhow, back to the movie: a lot of what he did that seemed 'weird' was stuff I could see myself doing (like collecting action figures in their original packaging). I mean, it's been so long I could almost consider myself a virgin again. Good lord. There is no way on this Earth that you

I like Denis Leary so I started watching his show Rescue Me on FX. It's a good show about a fireman dealing with the aftermath of 9/11. It's humorous at times and poignant at others. It's sexy and crude -- and I like to watch it. This week's episode, Tommy (played by Leary) loses his son to a hit-and-run driver. Death #3. Where are 1 and 2? Death #1: I'm coming back from lunch and my boss, along with her boss, is standing right next to my cubicle. My boss' office is right there, so why are they standing OUTSIDE the office? I reach my desk and sit in my chair and ask the hesitant question... "What's going on?" My boss tells me that one of the guys we worked with passed away -- the VP of Human Resources was using her office to talk to the man's brother. This man, who sat at the cubicle right next to mine, left the company (or more, he was asked to leave) about 6 months ago. It was a hard decision at the time because he was well-liked, he just was

Finally had some plans on a Friday night. One of the guys I work with is in a band and a group of us from the office went to see him play last night. The way it was originally put to me is that the show started at 8. Then I heard that his band wasn't starting to play until 9:30. In reality, they didn't go on until 11 because there were a couple of other bands that came on before them. My clothes were vibrated clean they were so loud. As smart as I am, though... I brought my earplugs. As crazy as that sounds I could hear the band much better and my ears weren't ringing afterwards. Before the show, a large part of the group met at a local sports bar -- with a country flair. One of the women that I work with (and was not expecting to see there) was there with her sister. Let's just say her sister was a little hottie and be done with it. Hottie-sis and I played a game of pool and I was Mr. Glib -- by losing the game because I sunk the eight-ball on one of my shots. I even t

If you’ve never seen this movie, you must watch it. Nicholas Cage and Tea Leoni find such an honest take on life it floored me the first time I saw the movie. I watched it again tonight (nothing on TV and I own the DVD now) and if good movies make you feel something, then this is a good movie. For some reason, this night, I thought about DubDub (she looks like Tea Leoni) and our relationship. I realized as I watched this movie that these two characters are good for each other. In the final analysis, I was good for DubDub but she wasn’t good for me. I had a previously relationship in which that particular young lady was good for me but I wasn’t good for her. That’s the way it has to work… it’s compromise, it’s doing what’s good for both of you, not what’s easiest. There are probably married couples out there reading this saying to themselves that I’m naïve. Maybe so. It’s easy for me to sit on the sidelines and critique what’s going on around me but I’ve been in relationships that were

At the office, we’re doing some ‘spring cleaning’. We have a couple of off-site storage places where we store old paperwork for Human Resources and Accounting and stuff. Anyhow, they announce on Tuesday anyone who wants to help can come in grungy clothing on Wednesday (when the big clean-out is). Fine. I walk in on Wednesday and I’m moving boxes around like I own the place. We’re throwing out garbage, cleaning out closets and, basically, tearing the place apart (in a good way). So I’m out in the parking lot loading some boxes on the back of a pickup and there are more boxes than will fit within my reach of the back end of the pickup. Fine. I decide that I’m going to get into the business end of this VEE-Hicle and continue this macho-man thing I’ve got working. It’s at this point that I should mention A-girl (remember her?) is helping with all this, which is fine by me because she’s a good worker and I like looking at her ass in those jeans. I put my left hand on the outside wall of the

Whether we like it or not, we deal with a lot of things in this world that are not real. There's too much around us that is fake. A few years ago I went to a diner that boasted it was like the diners from the 50's serving real food from that era. There were too many things that were 'low fat' and just for dieters -- I couldn't stand it. Plus, the food just didn't taste good. A basketball player coming out of college can make millions in his first year out yet a soldier in Iraq has to suffer with dust storms. It has a lot to do with the young man's potential and how many times he can put a round rubber ball through a metal hoop. I think our priorities are a little screwed up, in that respect. There's too much that's not on paper -- we've gone virtual, we've become computerized. We store thousands of bytes of data on magnetized pieces of metal. Magnets. One good crayon drawing stuck to the fridge and it's over. Maybe that's a bit over t